I do not have super high standards, no strong physical prefrences either. My only issue is weight. When I see a girl I think is cute I just feel like how I look isnt good enough for them. Most people can take one glance at me and say im in pretty good shape. Ive lifted now for three years, ive played sports my whole life, and lost 90lbs. But I have stubborn lower back fat, loose skin, and I feel fat in general. Not somebody these girls probably are attracted to.

When I bring this stuff up generally people say, "women aren't a monolith" "personal prefrences matter"etc. But, this feels like toxic positivity. I feel like if a girl knows she is attractive to a good number of guys she isn't going to be so lenient on the flaws in my physique. Cute girls arent going to like my body I just know it. And again people say "you don't know that, you're just assuming". Am? Am I really? Because im pretty sure they arent going to settle for me. I just want to feel like its possible I can date the people I want to date. Sure you see out of shape guys, far more out of shape than me, with pretty girlfriends all the time, and vice versa. But I feel that is an exception to the rule and not the rule itself. Statistically it actually is im going to assume. But I don't think im out of shape.

I struggle feeling attractive in general, but its even worse when I think about who im attracted to. I just want to be optimistic about it so I can feel confident. Most people on reddit have told me my body image, self esteem, and confidence are the problem. But I just can't shake the horrible feeling of not being enough to them. How do I feel better about myself so I can, at least be open to the idea that the girls im into could be attracted to me? I just don't feel good about my chances without getting a diced gym bod or something.