Help

brooklynisburnin · 2016-09-26T06:12:28+00:00

Well, you're clearly desperate for validation, I mean, the way you write makes me believe you just wanna "make it" so that people can see you and validate the shit out of you.

Get rid of that need, don't know how, you figure it out. You're just another sheep doing things to show it off, like 99% of people on facebook and social networks, they go to a big show, another country, a restaurant, whatever and the first thing they care about is taking pictures to show the whole world they're awesome.

Just sit the fuck down and have an honest conversation with yourself, list everything you wish to do and question the motivation for each one of them until you find five to which the answer is "because I think I would enjoy it" and nothing else, then go do those five or work your ass off to do them.

blackedoutfast · 2016-09-26T05:22:11+00:00

no one here cares if you succeed. you won't get any kind words. but you will get the truth.

it won't be easy to become the man you want to be. you'll probably fail. you'll fail a lot. you'll fail in ways you never even imagined.

there's no shortcut, there's no cheatcode, there's no wise bit of advice that anyone can give you that will suddenly give you complete focus and discipline.

no one is ever going to give you the complete fulfilment and validation and unconditional love that you want. no one is going to hold your hand and walk you through life. there are more people hoping you fail than hoping you succeed.

no more bullshit. no more excuses. no more wasting time. you know what is holding you back. you know what you need to do.

if you don't want to do the work, if you are waiting on a shortcut, there's not one. if you're never going to do it, then accept your fate. just give up and quit now.

but if you want to win, if you want to work hard and fight and struggle, then accept your fate. quit playing around. start NOW. not 'later,' not next week, not tomorrow, not in the morning, not in an hour. stop thinking, start doing. close your computer and START NOW.

ilovemagicmush · 2016-09-26T07:21:25+00:00

Figure out something in life that brings you joy and do that. If not, go to your local homeless man and buy him a sandwich and ask him about his life

nooomaam · 2016-09-26T10:40:38+00:00

Stop whining. Take an 8 day hiking and fishing backpack trip where it's just you and the woods. Grow a beard. Kill something. Work on your relationships. Anything that involves not giving a shit about of you're making others happy. They will make themselves happy.

Willow-girl · 2016-09-26T11:23:20+00:00

If you have struggled with alcohol (and other ways of self-medicating your pain), have you considered A.A.? Let me say right up front, if you're atheist or agnostic, don't let the "God" stuff put you off ... you don't have to be a Christian to get something out of A.A.; you can let a rock or a tree be your Higher Power and the program will still work for you (or at least it did for me).

A.A. involves a lot of introspection, but it's a good, healthy kind of introspection, not the brooding-over-past-fuckups kind. You examine your character and seek the removal of character defects. It will help you to develop new and more positive habits and thought patterns. And, it will give you a circle of friends who care about you, and are also trying to steer their lives in a positive direction. Isolation and loneliness are terrible things, but too often we try to fill the emptiness with a relationship when we're really not in a good place to be in one, and our issues sabotage the relationship. Right? Friendship (especially with other dudes) is where you need to go right now. Baby steps. As you say, the first step is recognizing you have a problems and wanting to change. Good luck on your path.

notimportantjustme · 2016-09-26T11:40:49+00:00

You just do it. "But I...", no ifs and buts, just do it.

The goal is to be productive, always do something that will make you improve. You set your priorities and goals, but you work on them and work hard.

Others are productive 8h a day? Jokes on them, you are productive 16h a day, your pace is faster.

"But I have so much distance to run and it's overwhelming and...", well yeah, and the way to close the distance and overtake others is to never, never stop being productive (body, mind, you name it). And when you have a powerful "core", you fucking increase that effort and improve more at the same amount of time, and then improve on that.

Use your new powerful "core" to grow exponentially, when you're not fat you CAN work harder. When you know basic math, you can learn advanced math.

Will it work, bring you on top? That's not the point, the point is you're doing the best you can, that's all you can control.

Don't stop, never stop, even if you don't see immediate or the results you want, it's STILL the best you can do. Then learn other things that will make you improve further and do them too!

And in the future you'll be closer to where you want to be and certainly closer than you'd be if you worked less and were still thinking about it.

The worse that can happen is if you come to realise that your best is not enough. But you can improve your best and it may be enough in the future, and it's still the best you can do so better than everything else.

Here's a quote by J.R.R. Tolkien.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

Title	Help
Author	doommaster87
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	September 26, 2016 4:52 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/54j24r/help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/help.111875 https://theredarchive.com/post/111875

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