Struggling to understand new emotions in my relationship.

ThymeForEverything · 2022-05-21T17:49:49+00:00

Have you ever taken the Big 5 personality test? You sound really high in neuroticism. I am too and it is not necessarily bad, but it's good to be aware of. It makes you a lot more likely to experience lots of negative emotions when things feel mundane. And it can lead to lots of erratic behavior and mental illness if you're not aware of it.

Perhaps because you are such a high achiever in education and career, youre lacking fulfillment and peace in your soul.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-05-21T15:11:30+00:00

He is perfect in everyway and even my parents adore him. We are compatible, have equal life goals, he listens to me and cares for me, he loves me so much, our trust is amazing and im never jealous because i do trust him a lot. He always puts me first and he is quite literally the perfect bf.

And yet, here you are, Lois Lane, waking up next to Superman, thinking, "Is he really the best I can get?"

So basically, your hypergamy is trying to escape from Pandora's box. There are three options.

A. You dump him, and go ride the carousel, then settle in your 30s always pining for your lost first love because you were stupid. Your bf will be devastated, and the guy you eventually settle for will also be miserable, because he is going to constantly be compared to the 21 year-old "perfect" boyfriend you should have married it you didn't have like THREE kinds of crazy going on. Have fun dating drug addicts and stuff.

B. You marry Superman, and resent him because marrying him and being happy kept you from riding a mile of cock, which you will think is somehow "better".

C. You realize "Hey, WTF is WRONG with me? I nearly walked away from f_cking SUPERMAN!" and get your, um, 'stuff' together, and have a bunch of smart, perfect kids and live happily ever after.

You are probably at your peak attractiveness (21F and all). Do you think things are going to get better? How are you going to feel when some other attractive intelligent woman snaps him up? Probably like this.

This is smth for YOU to figure out. Don't burden him with your crazy. AWALT, ofc, but it's what you DO with AWALT. I hope things work out for you, but really, it's on YOU to not blow it. And, on behalf of All Men, don't stay with him and torture him and don't torture the guy you finally marry with "You know the love of my life was a doctor." It's your problem, you deal with it.

CountTheBees · 2022-05-22T03:31:41+00:00

You say "nothing changed" but that is rarely the case. Firstly, most of my maturing happened between the ages of 16-25. I changed a lot over that period. It seemed every few months I'd have a sudden opinion change on something major. Even if nothing else changed, you did. And that's meaningful.

Secondly, what can you remember the month, the week, the day, the hour, the minute, before you had that feeling? Maybe it was so small that you don't even remember it. In that case, is there anything that consistently triggers that feeling, even if it did not before? If you try to force yourself to feel that way (instead of trying to force yourself to NOT feel that way which is what you've done so far) - yes, lean in to the uncomfortable nauseous feeling, for SCIENCE - how do you achieve it? What do you bring to mind?

The things you associate with that feeling, however irrational, are probably at the root of it. Figure out the trigger and you figure out the cause and maybe the solution.

sunglasses90 · 2022-05-21T16:36:36+00:00

Probably you’re thinking is this it? Things are good. You’re happy and he’s happy, but is this the extent of your happiness and experience forever? There’s a lot you haven’t experienced good and bad just due to being young.

I’ve had what you had. The same feelings. I tried to book vacations and go out more to try and feel alive and happy again in my relationship. Ultimately it wasn’t enough. I went on to be single for a few years and eventually met my now fiancé and I’m so glad I listened to my heart telling me that I was wrong even though there wasn’t anything really that wrong in that relationship. It just wasn’t who I was meant to be with. I took a risk and I was rewarded, but there was no guarantee that I would find a better fit.

I didn’t ride the dick carousel. I didn’t do anything I regret. I actually was single/abstinent for 2 years after the break up just kind of figuring out how to build and grow into the next stage of my life.

I’d dig really deep into yourself and try to pin point exactly what doesn’t feel right or like it’s not enough. You don’t want to make a hasty decision. Explore what is truly happening to make you feel this way.

munchela · 2022-05-21T17:15:37+00:00

It could be some subconscious fears about relationships coming up suddenly. Have you had any other issues in your relationships? Do you know about attachment theory and attachment styles? If not, look up Thais Gibson. I don't know you so I can't make conclusions but the feeling you are describing is something the fearful-avoidant attachment style tends to experience as a pattern. It could also be not related to that, but it doesn't hurt to research more imo. It is very useful information.

In any case, don't make major decisions when you are overwhelmed by fear. And don't fear yourself. That feeling is telling you something that you need to listen to and process without being rash. It seems to not have much to do with your bf, but more to do with your own issues, so be sure to work through them without getting panicked. It will be okay. :)

Wishing you luck!

LadySandcastle · 2022-05-21T14:56:10+00:00

You sound restless, which makes sense because you're young and in college which is when most people really start to mature as adults. What sort of future do you want, and is your boyfriend someone who can reasonably provide that? There is a term in redpill called hypergamy, does that apply?

lemon_lips · 2022-05-21T14:28:05+00:00

Maybe you could plan a vacation or start a project together. Set a new goal.

SnooChickens1041 · 2022-09-08T03:44:45+00:00

People that says I'm never jealous just to right After tell you how they found out. It's like ,ask for a Phone? Steal the phone?

You say you're honest and dont want him just to say

"I know he's the guy"

That's not honest, that's you pitting fear into him because you fear he's gonna hurt you, (get him before he gets me)

Listen, there's no reason for you if he's a great guy to say, I'm sorry. He'll likely say it back to you.

Title	Struggling to understand new emotions in my relationship.
Author	Haunting_Pudding4502
Upvotes	8
Comments	14
Date	May 21, 2022 7:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/uuicsr/struggling_to_understand_new_emotions_in_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/struggling-to-understand-new-emotions-in-my.1119130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119130

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