I've read the First Aid kit, and so much of it makes sense. A Hunter Gatherer society of say 100 people people could never properly function if all the women were cucking there longterm mates and all the men just wanted to fuck everyone's wives.

Yes, men tend to want to spread seed as wide as possible and women need to make sure the risk of pregnancy is worth it but this idea that everyone is out to fuck over those they supposedly love on the surface but utilize underneath is incredibly damaging.

I've told so many girls who really liked me that I wanted to stay non-exclusive, as advised by Rollo Tomasi, so I can sleep with maybe 3 of 4 girls at any given time. All this inorder to "maximize relationship experience" when that can respecfully be done one girl at a time.

These nice girls who liked me alot were pushed away by this. They did not want to share me, they wanted my heart to themselves and I wasn't brave enough to do so. I've recently learned I do not want casual sex with many women. I want to find a women I am "pulled" to in a way that I cannot verbally explain (love) and give her my soul and she give me hers.

Human intercourse is a means to facilitate pair bonding, something that was likely used to ensure a tribe stayed emotionally and mentally intact. It is healthy to only want to have sex with someone you know, someone you have a bit of history with, someone you have caught feelings for and really like.

It is not healthy to seek sex with strangers, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a correlation between seeking shallow sex with strangers and either drug abuse or past trauma. Rollo claims he has fucked maybe 37 women or something. Who gives a fuck? It feels so much better to have someone you know really likes you. Someone you can be vulnerable emotionally with.

This fucked idea that men should be these stone statues that keep their thoughts and emotions to their chest is a recipe for fucking disaster. This idea that women communicate with words and men with actions is absolutely idiotic.

IF YOU DONT TELL HER HOW YOU THINK OR FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!

The idea that women find men crying a turn off is idiotic and flys in the face of common sense. Yes if you cry over spilled milk then she'll think you are weak (and I will conceide that TRP's claim that women want strong men is evolutionaryily sensible) but if she is turned off by you sobbing your heart out at your mother's funeral then she is a PSYCHOPATH!

Don't try to be cool. Don't try to be anything but what you are.

TRP claims that you should not be yourself. The best social experiences I have ever had were ones where I was honestly just relaxed and present (I was just myself) and people liked me for just the way I was. YOU ARE FLAWED, SHE IS FLAWED. You don't have to break your back for years to hit the "top 20%".

Being in a relationship with a person who can't live without you is the zenith of human experience. And that's why heartbreak is the worst feeling anyone can have. 95% of ppl on TRP had thier souls shattered by a girl likely in highschool or college. I can't blame them. I was one of them. I desperately searched for why I felt inadequate. Why she didn't like me anymore and why she picked another guy over me. It changed me, I was desperate and willing for any answer. And TRP's answer is to dehumanize women, never get close to one single girl again, become emotionally reserved, and pursue casual sex with people who you don't know you deeply. Get into the habit of telling people how you honestly feel. Tell her you like her, ask if she is single. If she isn't it's ok.

Men must learn to openly communicate EVERYTHING they feel with thier woman. I used to think that this would "feminize me" according to TRP. In actuality the most confident thing you can be is honest. I know that sounds all gushy and shit, but be brave. Be brave. Take the chest plate off and be vulnerable.

And do not be afraid of heartbreak. I have been afraid of being close to a girl (or even just a guy friend) for 10 years now (I am 25). I have never had an official girlfriend. I began TRP at 19 and thought I wanted to just be a "playboy". I don't. I want depth, I am a human being, I am not a fucking animal.

You need to build a strong network of close friends of your same gender (and opposite gender). You will need people to cry with when a pair bonding experience breaks up. It's hard but you MUST learn to cry infront of your friends. Girls have this, guys do not.

I read years ago on TRP that if you argue with your girlfriend you are a beta. And I believed it. This was one aspect as to why I never talked about my feelings with girls. I thought that by being emotional she would "see me as a girlfriend". A HUMAN FUCKING RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES V E R B A L C O M M U N I C A T I O N! No one knows what anyone is thinking or feeling if no one has the balls to say what they feel or ARE THINKING!!! The number one reason by men's souls are broken by women in highschool is because everyone is immature and inexperienced with relationships. Highschoolers are afraid of their feelings and having important conversations with others can be uncomfortable so people don't communicate and then one person in the relationship is blindsighted when suddenly the other either ghosts the other or suddenly wants to break up. Instead both parties should communicate how they feel everyday with eachother, have uncomfortable conversations so that both parties can maybe get a feel for if it will end soon. This keeps people from having thier souls broken because they were led to believe that the relationship was something that it wasn't.

I have been so mean to girls because of TRP, such nice girls who had feelings for me. But I had thought that women only want stone cold alphas that are kinda douchey. So that's what I tried to be... STOP pursing sex, sex without love is genuinely meaningless. I am not religious, I know hookup culture is normalized but it will never make you happy. It might not even feel good.

I am now in the process of swinging the pendulum back to a place of reality. There are TRP idea that are true. Women like tall, confident, men with nice faces. Attractive people have it easier in life. Who knew?

What we need to do is take all the "science presented by both the redpill and blackpill and shine a very bright light on it. The blackpill fact that women orgasm like 50% more often when being raped must be false or the research behind it somehow flawed.

Anyways, if anyone read this whole thing I hope you can salvage some hint of a healthy relationship some day. I thought TRP was going to give me an edge at life, when really it stunted me emotionally.