Me and my boyfriend are 23 and come from strict conservative cultural backgrounds. We don’t have much freedom to spend time together as we’re both in med school, our parents also disapprove of dating and have typical arrange marriage mentality so they don’t know about us. In a few months he’ll graduate and be a doctor.

I’ve been talking to my boyfriend about marriage and he’s said he’ll introduce me to his parents at the end of next year once he’s settled with his job. This has me feeling a little anxious. Marriage is such a big steps and there are some issues I have in our relationship which I have overlooked.

My boyfriend is an introvert and doesn’t usually make plans with friends, he’s always the one attending them. He’s rarely ever taken me out on a date. It doesn’t help that he barely earns anything considering he’s in med school, but it’s made me feel sad that he doesn’t really do romantic things for me . He won’t get me flowers unless it’s for anniversary or birthdays . In his mind, small gifts don’t make sense. For my birthday he always plans the day and does get me a nice present but that’s only once a year. Apart from this he is quite verbally affectionate, texts me literally all the time and always asks about my day. I feel that his lifestyle and strict parents make it hard for him to want to see me more often but I’m in the same boat yet I try my best to. He’s quite satisfied with our arrangement of texting constantly but only meeting once a week. We’ve had numerous arguments about these issues but have never really come to an agreement so I’ve given up communicating. I’m worried that this is a sign that he’s not a romantic partner and if I marry him I’ll never get to experience being treated like a girlfriend.

Another issue is the way he sees marriage. He’s a firm believer that both men and women should work in the relationship, he believes in 50/50. Right now we’re not working and at home with parents so it’s irrelevant to me, but if I marry him I don’t want our relationship to feel like a friendship or some financial agreement. He doesn’t value stay at home housewife’s and thinks that housework is easy to do. I never intent to be a housewife unless I get pregnant but his attitude makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m starting to get worried that he won’t be a provider and has a stingy mindset. I don’t know what to do because we get along so well on every other aspect of relationship, I’ve always felt he’s my soul mate and I just can’t imagine finding someone with a better connection.