Triggered by another one of Detox's great raw writings of his experiences of adhering to the waves of Red Pill bullshit, I was reminded of some of my own uncomfortable feelings of being reduced down to a "plate" by someone I adored, trusted, and thought was one of my more reliable FWB's. I'm a former Red Pilled woman by the way.

I always found the spinning plates thing really funny (until I was turned into a plate of course 🎻 wahh wahh) because the Red Pill dudes I knew would present a very different narrative about the women in chats online than what was actually happening to their friends. I saw many of my own experiences repeated in a very dishonest way (started saving A LOT of data after that because something just didn't feel right). Even using edited 'evidence' of her 'crimes' against him. This fascinated me greatly. Are they really cherry-picking like 5 examples of me not being perfect and completely ignoring the 150 other times I did something good? Holy shit, they are! 🧐

Is this what alphas do? Intentionally portray their relationships in a very different light than reality? Even to their buddies? I had one that kept pretending like he was rejecting me through our normal chat channels, even to the point of baiting me with sending and unsending of messages to trigger my apps, but then be all up in my business as alts where he knew how to find my online gaming profiles, as if I didn't know it was him or his friends. 🙄 I wonder if he was telling his friends all his other stuff too, or just using me as cannon fodder with cherry-picked stuff?

We've been on and off for many years (this was before I realized that I was being primed for trauma bonding and a forced addiction to him via the silent treatment and breadcrumbing cycle, which he looped for years). When we started casually talking again, he would flirt, drop innuendos, try to poke and get me to sext with him...or my favourite, we used to do this really hot thing where we would, totally randomly, send porn gifs to each other with no other context. 🥵

Grocery store, work, didn't matter...you never knew when you'd be called upon and reminded of what he would do to you that moment, if he could. But I usually would just toy with him a bit if I was lonely that night and needed some company. He never once asked me to be his girlfriend, so I figured it was casual as casual could be. Right? Or no? I can't tell!! His constant hot and cold and mixed signals made my head hurt.

When I would play along, he would remind me he "didn't want a girlfriend" while simultaneously expecting me to give him the full "girlfriend experience" (LULZ!), nudes and all. After a year of 'not wanting a girlfriend', but still being contacted EVERY weekend for affection and attention and being made sure I knew that he didn't want me, he kept dropping little things about the girls at his work he wanted to fuck, or was, to try and make me jealous (y tho bro?). But only I was the bad one for doing the same back to show how much it hurt. He is the one who initiated, by the way. I was taught to work on his lead. Like what the fuck had this thing become? Is this what he believed I deserved? After everything? Yiiiikes. No thank you.

Worked like a charm, felt like a used-up idiot, and succumbed to the feelings of not being "good enough". The love was real. At least on my side. Boy was my homie, and he didn't love me back. But worse, he was an awful friend, because who does this to a "friend"? So, then I started to pull away...even with our friendship. At which point his wing men tell you to just let her ('the plate', me, a human and nearly best friend of many years) break. Let me walk away. I was disposable and was disposed of simply because I wouldn't entertain his 'not wanting a girlfriend' but expected to be on call for him whenever or be...dismissed (but also never being told that he was leaving for months at a time or even forever when he'd give me the extended silent treatment for misbehaving).

I mean, I don't mind a little casual flirtation occasionally, but I'm certainly not going to give you my all without getting a least a few good dates out of it. Bitch, please. 💅🏼 But after some time, it starts to feel almost as if I was extorted into either having a sexual relationship with him or lose my friend. I did it because we both got the attention we were hungry for, but I still lost out anyways when another woman came along. It just all felt so wrong, but I couldn't place it. It didn't flow like it naturally should. He was unusually resistant, but seemed to want me...but not? God, the dissonance and push/pull gave me migraines.

To expect a full experience from me is absurd. To then punish me for not entertaining it was worse. "Show her she can lose you forever", I read. "Ditch the bitch!" I had to prepare my tits for the worst. WWIII of love was about to begin! I went full Harley Quinn, cried, ate my heart away, turned up the heartbreak music up to 11, danced around my apartment with Kim Kardashian ugly crying on my face, reached out a few times like the weak little heartbroken girl I was, was in awe at his ability to ignore our history, yada yada. BuT tHe LoVe wE hAD! The whole schtick. I wrote him a nice letter (I was raised VERY old fashioned, get over it), or so I thought. 🤡

I told him I needed something else with the whole 'it's not you, it's me' thing, sent it, and prepared to lose my friend of like five years. And he did. He walked away and I haven't officially spoken with him for years. Or so I thought. I found out both he and his friends had been stalking me for years, contacting me on other channels as 'strangers' who then also expected me to give them my all (FFS, really?! Ha!) I wouldn't know it at first, but after like a year of befriending another person, I would find out they were connected to him.

THIS SHIT AGAIN?! He knows how to find me and used alts to talk to me instead, casually dropping reminders of us while pretending to be the uncaring alpha dude who gives the silent treatment to all his bitchez on his main channels to others. God, what a weird mating dance... 🤢 The Red Pill delusions are real, and they fuck A LOT of stuff up for young men new to the dating scene, but they don't know that and adhere to these fake alphas on YouTube with googley stars in their eyes until they've made the grave mistakes that the coaches avoid talking about...

This shit is a joke. I'm not here for your entertainment. Either you want an endless supply of free pussy using a controversial formula that side by side looks a lot like narc abuse, drives people crazy, and creates headaches for you, or you want to work on yourself, build something good with a good woman, and settle down. But don't expect women to entertain being your free escort without a little exposure of what a piece of shit you are and how much you lie behind the scenes. 💀🥀

Are you really alpha or is it all just a show?

TL;DR: A lot of these dudes aren't as alpha as they front publically and even to their friends. Some are even coaches themselves and sell a story that's only partially true. I'm so fucking tired of being lied about and being punished for it. A lot of them are just being beta bois in secret and use you, your time together, rare examples of you not being perfect were exaggerated and thrust into the public eye, and sometimes even your private texts were used and rearranged to spin a different narrative...

Edit: Damn. 4.8k+ of you read this shit? Damn, thanks. 🥲