I have a feeling that my [23F] boyfriend [27M] didn't like his birthday gift. How should I approach this?

alien_eater289 · 2022-08-27T21:45:55+00:00

I think this happens to everyone now and then. It happened to me before with an ex (actually it has also happened with my husband) and honestly, I just make a note of it and move on. Some people can be hard to buy gifts for, and in those scenarios it may be easier and/or better to gift experiences instead - take them to a new hot restaurant, or to a concert for their favorite band, or to do an activity they’d enjoy.

I don’t see what bringing it up to him will do aside from make him feel like he has to reassure you again, which will probably only be annoying. Just move on and keep your ear out for if he mentions something he really wants, and otherwise consider gifting an experience in the future.

FortitudeWisdom · 2022-08-27T23:34:23+00:00

"Cut to a month and half later, he hasn't used it at all."

It may depend on what it is actually. This girl I used to really like gave me a movie themed deck of cards and I didn't want to use them much at all because they reminded me of her and so I wanted to keep them in great condition. Months and months go by and she see's that they've been untouched and she had the same reaction you did. I didn't really know how to explain to her that I didn't touch the cards because I like her so much lol.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-08-28T02:34:54+00:00

Do you know what his Love Languages are? Ex. Mine are Physical Touch, then Quality Time. Then Deeds of Service in a distant third. After that are Finding My Car Keys on the First Try, Midsomer Murders and The Infield Fly Rule.

Waaaaay after all of that are Words of Affirmation and even after that is: Gifts.

The facts are that if I never get another compliment or gift for the rest of my life, I will be perfectly fine. Whenever a girl asks me what I want for a gift I say, "A backrub and a blowjob."

Her: "I would do that for you anyway."

Me: "I know. But that's what I want. And it's always the right size, and I know I will LOVE it!"

If a girl's own LL is "Gifts" of course, that leaves them (but not me!) unsatisfied.

Also, in that scenario, the following happens:

he has got me thoughtful gifts randomly

If a girl's LL is "Gifts" I do this. Sometimes I do it anyway. Because I want my girls to feel good, and think that I am thoughtful, which I am, or can at least fake being convincingly - I am actually good at choosing gifts because it's such a foreign language to me that I have to force myself to think about it. Plus sometimes I just get lucky.

And also:

He thanked me profusely and said it was nice of me etc.

Because you got him smth and he wants to show appreciation and not make you feel badly. Congrats your bf is NOT a social moron. /heh

Perhaps I should have been more prudent since he earns lot more than me, he could definitely buy the thing I got for him.

I actually - in situations where I am required to receive a gift - prefer consumables, and I also don't want people to spend money on me. A girl once got me a bottle of "Apple Pie" flavored moonshine. Not my thing, but actually pretty good mixed with apple cider. It was thoughtful and not too expensive. I would especially not want someone to stretch their budget to get me a gift.

Cut to a month and half later, he hasn't used it at all.

This is why I will always ask for a backrub and a blowjob. Because I will use those right away. And they are the gifts that keep on giving. Why? Because I don't want things and words are just words - Love me how I want to be loved, you know?

Now I realize that this reply has starred: Me. Produced by? Me. Original Screenplay by: Me. But that's because I don't know what your bf's LL is. I bet it's NOT Gifts. And I bet yours IS. Which is why you think you have failed, when in reality you haven't and he just wants you to be happy. He will get around to using it when he gets around to using it.

Out of curiosity, how soon and how frequently must he use the gift that you got for him so that you feel better about it? Because this seems like a gift that comes with responsibilities.

me not feeling that I'm good enough for him

If he felt that way, he would not be dating you. That's a decision for him to make, and not for you to use as negative self-talk.

I don't know how to approach this or if I should approach it at all Should I sweetly ask him about it? Or just let it go and try to not feel bad?

That second one. And on the next occasion that you are going to get him a gift, aske him what he wants. If he is like me, he will say "nothing" or "don't go out of your way", but if you must get him a gift say, "I would like to get you something that is at least demonstrative, but also that you will enjoy." Then get him a bottle of his favorites spirits or smth. But stop torturing yourself.

aslanhatessmeagol · 2022-08-28T07:44:39+00:00

That's why I dont like a surprise gift. I am not being ungrateful but I will feel bad for not liking it. I rather ask what they like and buy it. Maybe he doesnt like the brand or the gift and he doesnt want you to get hurt. Next time,just cook him something or take him to a mini trip. It does not need to be expensive.

EGOtyst · 2022-08-28T01:56:01+00:00

It's vry very difficult to buy gifts for people who make their own money.

It happens.

TheFireKnight · 2022-08-28T02:58:59+00:00

One of the best gifts I ever got was a cardstock vase with paper mache petals and chocolates for flowers, with G2 pens (which I like to spin) to support the structure.

The best gifts aren't about what's useful or what he "wants." The best gifts just show him you're thinking about him and care about him.

FUCK_IDEOLOGUES · 2022-08-28T04:35:25+00:00

The most thoughtful gifts I ever recieved were on the same Christmas. My girlfriend know one of my cd’s in my car was ruined and she saw me read a dumb childrens love book I picked up at antique shop. She bought the book and signed it with a heartfelt note and bought me a new cd…. Hasn’t gotten me another good gift in 12 years lol. It’s not the $$$ that matters it’s the thought, but I’d much rather be well taken care of on my birthday if you know what I mean, intimacy is more important than anything money can buy.

Thats-suspish · 2022-08-28T04:09:55+00:00

Guys I’m seriously confused. I thought men don’t like to receive gifts rather to give

As in items. I do understand the idea of planning and enjoying something together

borattt99 · 2022-08-28T21:00:57+00:00

Should have given him something he either can't buy, or isn't worth the potential crazy backlash, e.g. a nice blowjob.

Title	I have a feeling that my [23F] boyfriend [27M] didn't like his birthday gift. How should I approach this?
Author	rpw_throwaway1
Upvotes	13
Comments	12
Date	August 27, 2022 9:17 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/wzdr8d/i_have_a_feeling_that_my_23f_boyfriend_27m_didnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-have-a-feeling-that-my-23f-boyfriend-27m-didnt.1131086 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131086

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