It's been a while since I looked at this sub, but some feelings over the last few days/weeks have brought me back, but I also wanted to share for people who are in a similar position to how I was a year ago, what it feels like a year on.

My original posts (one, two) from a year ago are hard for me to read and bring back a lot of memories and emotion.

I have a lot to be proud of from the last 12 months. I bought my house, changed it all around, negotiated a substantial raise/promotion in my job, continued to meditate and do therapy, and went on two holidays on my own, overseas. I feel a world away from the person a year ago. I'm generally a content, balanced person, I feel I've grown.

I still get "heavy" feeling emotional days, today being one of them, where the memories or events of a particular time of year are in my mind. I often have dreams of reuniting with my ex wife and my dog. I've spoken to my wife probably about 5 times since my original posts a year ago, and almost all of those are brief "admin" calls re the divorce and re-mortgage. I didn't get a Christmas, Birthday or any other kind of contact, no conversations to help bring closure or healing to what happened. The original posts I made provide the background to the circumstances of her walking away, but in summary, I found out of her decision via email, and while we were in a challenging period of the relationship, there is nothing I "did" or said that triggered this. The anniversary of her exit recently passed - there was no contact, just a government email that went to both of us re the divorce paperwork.

I sometimes feel anger too, but most of all, I genuinely hope she's well, happy, and doesn't regret our 15 year relationship. I sometimes wonder if she wonders how I am doing. I often worry about her. There are times when I'll be in a shop or out somewhere and I see something she'd like, or something that might remind me of an in-joke, or a song or food we liked. But it gets easier.

I often have feelings of missing the comfort of a relationship or companionship. I signed up for Tinder, and it's a bit of a nightmare, but I would like to find someone at some point. But then there are still times I just think I can't be in a relationship yet, I don't feel ready.

This has turned into a bit of a long post. I'd be interested for anyone else to share how they feel after a year has passed, but also, for anyone reading who is earlier in the process, although my post above doesn't read like it (just how I'm feeling today), it really is a journey of growth and although scary, emotional, it's equally exciting and positive. I remember reading a lot of helpful posts on here last year, and hope this might be helpful to someone too