I just asked myself a question (this is going to sound so autistic hahaha). Would I want to be friends with Thomas Shelby? And it's so weird because I have subconsciously idolized his 'character' for a long time and have replicated it but after thinking about it, no I would not want to be friends with Thomas Shelby. My personality has gotten really boring and uninteresting lately and it's because I got my heart broken by a girl and found the red pill. And it's a shame too because I know I have such a vibrant personality, I just don't show it, but after feeling something was off and scrolling around here for a while it made me realize that I am presenting myself to others all wrong, in the way that I try to act all masculine and stoic all the time. I love authenticity but am not being authentic to myself. Also and what's probably worse is that I gaslight myself in the way that I think I view women as people, even though I don't. I will try to change this from today even though it might take some time but honestly after being on RP for a bit less than 1 year, I have barely spoken to women. This morning for example a girl walking in front of me dropped some cash and I handed it back her and the smile she gave was so bright and genuine, but I quickly looked the other way with no expression on my face. It was truly sad of me, I should've conversated or something or at least said youre welcome with a smile.That being said, the redpill has benefited me in the sense of going to the gym, I will continue this as I love feeling strong and having an aesthetic physique. I also look more facially attractive since following RP. Thank you guys for clearing some brain fog and making me realize that some people I idolize truly do have some toxic opinions. More introspection may need to be done in order to fix the damage but for now I'm grateful that I'm at least aware of my issues. Thanks again