Long story short.. my STBXW has parents who have money and I overheard her talking to them (she doesn't know I heard) that they would be willing to give her 10s of thousands to cover divorce costs. They have a few mil in assets.. so 10, 20K or so.. no big deal for them.

I on the other hand.. make about 200K a year.. she makes about 80K (part time.. but medical reasons can't work full time).. and have about 30K in CC debt I am paying off. We have a home that we owe a 550K on.. but is worth about 900K give or take them market.. was over 1.2 a few months back.. now its down thanks to inflation, high interest, etc.

We're in a 50/50 state.

The thing is.. I have about enough money to file.. and move out (first/last months).. but I wont have any money to afford a lawyer. Not sure how fast the retainer of 7500 goes.. but I assume it will go in a month or so.. and that i'll need to put an additional 5000 or more to keep my lawyer. The lawyer I am going with is top notch.. don't want to lose her services.

So.. how do you guys do it. You desperately need to get out.. shit just keeps getting worse.. but thanks to cost of living.. + cost of lawyers.. you dont have nearly enough.. and your STBXW has "unlimited" (I dont think it will go beyond about 30K or so each at most.. but should be less.. we're 50/50 state.. most of our shit is divide in half.. our one kid has 1 year left of HS.. so child support will be calculated).

I don't have any CC left to spend.. I spent it all paying some bills (medical, stuff for house, etc).. and I am trying to pay that off.. but with cost of living, mortgage, etc.. I dont have much left. If I file for divorce.. and move out.. maxing out the one CC I have.. and then have to pay her alimony on top of it.. I'll have almost nothing left to pay CC back.. let alone money to afford a lawyer.

Really REALLY want to file and GTFO.. but money is the ONLY issue for me.. and NOT an issue for her. How fucked will I be if I cant afford a lawyer.. and she can? How is that even "fair" if she can hire a lawyer who can fuck me over.. and I can't afford anything because of my financial situation.. mostly due to her not working full time and me paying for just about everything for years now. Yet.. somehow.. she gets to get half of everything + alimony and child support.. and me paying for 3/4 of everything for years has no bearing on how much I'll owe her.