Hi! I'm a psychologist and I took a stab at explaining why Tate's ideas about women are so harmful to men in the dating world. It was mostly viewed by redpillers as displayed in the vids comment section. What content/ideas did you come across that shifted you away from the redpill community?

StealingSugar · 2023-01-04T18:27:31+00:00

Ooohh, this is so good. Thank you for your valuable insight!

My personal things were seeing how much hurt I was causing myself unintentionally. I was taught to be a certain way without fully understanding the implications and how it was hurting myself down to my soul.

I blunted my emotions so I wouldn't be overly feminine and "weak", I supressed my emotions because I was taught any emotions were hysterical and "unwell", I developed anorexia because I didn't know I had a genetic mutation that made me heavier than I "should" be, I stopped showing my true nerdy, dorky giggly self because I needed to not "act like a child" even though I could be mature when needed, I let men push my boundaries way too far so I could let them lead me better, and the list goes on.

Then I saw how it was affecting the men I loved and I doubled down on exiting, going to therapy, confirming with professionals that this nonsense was toxic AF, read a lot of books, talked to a lot of people, and helped my lovers exit as well. It was exhausting but we're all doing sooo much better now.

Arcaribus · 2023-01-04T18:31:00+00:00

You're a psychologist so I think you've seen this in action.

When a person internalizes a belief a bit too strongly, they only start seeing what reaffirms it and block out everything that doesn't.

I believe the only two things a person can do then is say something that reaffirms it to get their attention, but go a bit further until it starts sounding a bit ridiculous to them. This might make them start to rethink their belief.

(This one actually made me keep myself from falling too deep. Whenever I heard someone mentioning AWALT, saying it in a way that they are all soulless monsters or something, I just thought of my online friends that are girls, and it just made me think that maybe that's taking it a bit too far. That maybe something's wrong.)

The second thing is basically to force them to look at that belief from another perspective through some kind of medication pill from a psychiatrist. (Or maybe even just drugs but I don't wanna recommend those.)

(This is what made me not go further into that belief as well, as the medication I received simply stopped me from trying because it was basically reversing my perception on a far more fundamental level.)

I don't think you can move a person from outside of that belief unless they're at least thinking a bit that something about it doesn't make complete sense.

That's my experience at least.

DrManhattan_69 · 2023-01-05T13:20:42+00:00

Not a psychologist but I have studied psychology for many years independently and I agree , often what Tate says is bollocks.

He has trauma from his upbringing I would like to add and It was pretty obvious he is coping. He said his father only used to visit once a month and he was trying to rationalise why it was perfectly fine and why a father does not need to be around.

dharkanine · 2023-01-04T20:16:12+00:00

Mind, I'm not agreeing with Tate here, as I don't think women are children or need to be coddled, and disrespect doesn't mean someone needs to shoot up a school. But I absolutely see his point.

When considering the typical family (man, woman, child), in a hypothetical scenario that boils down to "who's responsibility is it to protect this household," which party instinctively steps forward? Who does our society expect to protect the family when faced with violence? Who gets evacuation priority when the house burns?

When you unpack his bullshit, this is the point he's getting to. If social and relationship dynamics state that the man has to make sure the woman and child are safe, then he needs to at least be able to challenge issues that arise regarding her safety. If the expectation is that he has to put his life on the line to serve as protector (should the situation demand it), there's an expectation of trade-off for his (potential) sacrifice.

What that trade-off is, though, should be a matter of debate. Does that give the man the authority to demand the woman not put herself at risk? No. Does that mean the man is exempt from routine household or childrearing duties? Nope. In Tate's world, this refusal to "respect his authoritah" is seen as disrespect, but that's because Tate's view of any relationship is that he is the authority. He's conflated the need to protect with the desire to control.

I'm pretty sure Tate goes on to state that he'd walk out of a relationship if he wasn't allowed this level of control. This is where he fails to set a good example (all other bullshit ignored). Realistically, the trade-off in a healthy relationship comes in many forms: a loving wife, children who look up to him, a life full of memories, a home that's paid off, a social circle to support him, a legacy in his workplace, freedom to explore his hobbies, etc. All that potential danger was to make these events, this footnote in history, possible. Its payout comes in time.

Getting to be lazy and demanding isn't winning; no one wants that guy. No one wants that woman, either, tbh.

okusername3 · 2023-01-05T00:27:07+00:00

A Tate clearly has a narcissistic disorder and manic episodes. Both of them appear to have no spontaneous empathy and regard others humans as a mean to an end and despise weakness.

When his parents divorced, he was a kid and they moved from US to UK. He lost all his friends, hobbies, everything.

I believe the mix of all these things is why he's so obsessed about control, especially in relationships.

Regarding his wolrd view, which appear to be so foreign to you, those are simply just mostly conservative Muslim values. He grew up in a poor neighborhood with a lot of muslim friends and admired the stability and clarity of their parents relationships.

Like in a lot of eastern European cultures still today there's a much clearer division of labor in relationships. The expectations are much clearer and pre defined: You cook, I carry the lagguage. You feed the kids, I make sure the car is fixed, the bills are paid and the kitchen gets painted.

In strict Muslim cultures, women are infantilized and "taken care of": there is a seperate women-children area at the airport, but it also has the nicer view and more comfortable facilities.

Regarding the comment sections - I don't believe that's organic. The comment sections of videos about him are bizarre. I bet it's a mix of a strong media team, affiliate marketing and AI generated content.

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