Truly platonic friendships between men and women rarely exist - and men are the reason.

Available-Ad-9338 · 2023-01-03T03:09:45+00:00

I keep my male friends at an arm's length. I never hang out alone with them. Cultivate strong female friendships instead.

ghua · 2023-01-03T00:18:38+00:00

IMHO it only works of both sides are not in relationships, otherwise it looks like someone is having a backup option.

I also believe it wont work forever - one side may decide to try to take it onto another level

AutoModerator · 2023-01-03T00:13:54+00:00

Title: Truly platonic friendships between men and women rarely exist - and men are the reason.

Full text: "This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic."

Sources:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/147470491401200510

https://www.bleske-rechek.com/April%20Website%20Files/Bleske-Rechek%20et%20al.%202012%20Benefit%20or%20Burden.pdf

https://www.womenshealth.com.au/why-men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/

https://www.mic.com/articles/109480/science-shows-why-it-seems-impossible-for-men-and-women-to-just-be-friends

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Hot_Meet654 · 2023-01-04T15:16:48+00:00

Personally, for me was the opposite, I just wanted to befriend some girls or some whom I considered like a friends started to like me more but I wasn't interested in it.

Ok_Communication_199 · 2023-01-06T21:33:26+00:00

questions like this in this sub are pointless since women will always vote for whichever option places the blame on men

Recent-Bid8659 · 2023-01-03T09:38:01+00:00

I definitely buck the trend with this one. I have 3 male friends with whom I'm exceptionally close and there is absolutely zero sexual interest from either side. 2 of those friends are married to other women (one of whom I know well, the other I don't really but I know she is really lovely) and the third is pretty much asexual and wouldn't try it on with anyone, let alone me!

I do agree that it is rare to have a truly platonic male/female relationship but I think it does depend on personalities. I've always been aware that I have a more masculine personality and interests, sure I like girlie things, but all 3 of the men I'm good friends with can easily be described as nerds whereas my husband isn't a nerd at all, so it's nice for me to be able to hang out (usually virtually as we don't live anywhere near each other) and chat nerdy stuff like computers and SEO, things that my husband just isn't into.

One of my married male friends has been here with his wife for the weekend, we've been to theirs and we meet up every 3 months or so to go to a museum or similar as 2 couples and it's lovely, I'm really glad my husband gets on with him really well too.

My other married friend hasn't met my husband in person yet (we actually haven't seen each other in person for I think around 2 and half years thanks to covid and my husband and I have actually only known each other for 2 years -it was a quick relationship and marriage!!😂). We used to go out for lunch every 8 weeks or so before I moved across the country, again totally platonic but more like a working lunch. We chat most days over messengers and occasionally video call, usually for 2-3 hours at a time. We share subscriptions to software for work and tend to co-work virtually because we're in the same field and working positions now. He's really good to talk to (he's also about 15 years older than both me and my husband and has been my work mentor since I briefly worked for him back in 2016). We do a lot of freelance work together now and both my husband and I are going to stay with him and his wife for the weekend next month so we can all hang out and I can do some filming work for him, he can also talk to me about what sort of wedding photos we want at our handfasting celebration in May (we're legally married but we are having a religious service with our families and friends in May).

My asexual friend and I have been friends for probably 15 years or so, we've been on holiday just the two of us, we have camped together as part of a friendship group (ironically with a mutual best friend who happens to be a lesbian) so he's always been there. He and our mutual lesbian friend are part of my bridal ceremony this year, she will be a bridesmaid and he a bridesman!

In short, it can happen but honestly I think it depends on your personalities and the personality/interests of the person you're married to. My husband is the most wonderful man and I could never imagine myself ever being with anyone else, but equally my husband and I don't share the same interests that my three male friends do in IT, coding, and SEO, and that's fine I love my husband for different things and there are plenty of interests we do share together. My three very close male friendships are special to me and I would actually probably think less of my husband if he asked me to end them. He won't because he knows there's zero sexual feelings there for either of them, whether were left "alone" together or not, it just wouldn't happen, and he's very secure in our relationship, just as I am. 😊

Edit: typos

dogsmoking · 2023-01-03T09:29:44+00:00

Opposite sex relationships can be fostered by anyone but I think the boundaries involved are totally different from same sex friendships.

jenna_grows · 2023-01-03T12:01:11+00:00

I think that you know you are friends with someone of the opposite sex* when they are in a relationship and you then hang out / become friends with their partner.

I have male friends. Recently, one of them was visiting from overseas and I invited him to quite a large get together. My husband and him aren’t tight but they get along and my husband suggested inviting him over for a couple of drinks before he went back. When he was here the last time, I went on a hike with him and another friend after work and then he and I got drinks because she had to head. My husband didn’t feel like coming and couldn’t be bugged that I went. It was totally innocent both ways.

One of my now very good female friends is someone I met through my husband. She’s a pretty girl and I know that his friends who introduced them did wonder if they’d hit it off. They didn’t. But even if my husband is attracted to her, I don’t think he’d act on that.

I’m sure he finds plenty of my friends physically attractive and I his. I do think that’s normal. What’s important to me is how people act.

angelicasinensis · 2023-01-03T18:42:20+00:00

Some of my best friends are male, BUT I also lived in a rural farming community for years with some of them, and the culture is just different. My best friend is coming over on Friday, we usually have a day where we hang out and chat and have a meal together. He is a sensitive, introverted person and has never, EVER tried anything weird, we have been close friends for about 16 years now. Am I trying to make male friends in town nowadays? NO, and I have a happy marriage BUT I really love and cherish my male friends that I have.

babyurmyqt314 · 2023-01-03T23:15:50+00:00

Yeah i’ll agree with this

Truly platonic friendships between men and women rarely exist - and men are the reason.

Crosspost "Truly platonic friendships between men and women rarely exist - and men are the reason." from /r/GenderDifferences:

Comments

Title	Truly platonic friendships between men and women rarely exist - and men are the reason.
Author	FMLPuff
Upvotes	11
Comments	17
Date	January 3, 2023 12:13 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/101sffs/truly_platonic_friendships_between_men_and_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/truly-platonic-friendships-between-men-and-women.1147338 https://theredarchive.com/post/1147338