Why are we confused why men find validation in sex?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-01-12T19:13:41+00:00

Debate posts must be neutral

HaveALittleGrace · 2023-01-12T19:00:14+00:00

I don't have any problems with men seeking validation in healthy ways. I have a problem with the dishonesty of it all when you have ones that go out and learn PUA shit and lie, coerce, and manipulate me into sex. It's basically theft at that point. Go get validation from ones that are fully informed and consent to whatever kink you need to get off your chest.

toasterchild · 2023-01-12T19:07:03+00:00

Most people crave a little validation in a handful of places in their lives but some people don't just crave a little validation, they obsess about it and act like they are literally dying when they don't get it. If they don't get it you will hear about it and hear about it and hear about it. That said 1 out of 10 people at least suffers from cluster B personality disorders which would explain why this obsession with external validation is so widespread.

inherentlyvalued · 2023-01-12T19:08:04+00:00

we're not confused by male desire

we're confused as to why you're so bad at fulfilling that desire, since rape is now illegal and consent/attraction is required

MistyMaisel · 2023-01-12T19:23:34+00:00

So, Imma approach this answer from two different directions:

The first is the sort of "pick-up artisty", fuckboi, you know what, let's just call them liars because that's what they are. In my mind, if you have to lie, misrepresent, manipulate, coerce, and fake to get a woman into your bed...you've essentially actively agreed ahead of time that you as a man, by which I mean the real man that you are, is not truly a viable sexual partner. Who you really are, is not attractive. Who you really are, is not someone women would ever willingly have sex with. So the idea that you're getting validation of your identity, masculinity, sexual prowess, and all the rest from this is absolutely hysterical. She wasn't into you. She wasn't enjoying sex with you. She didn't select you from everyone else. Hell, you couldn't even seal the deal without preying upon her insecurities and worries. You weren't worthy, you just cheated, lied, and basically stole to get to a place men who are really sexually viable arrive at without all this deceit. The fact you find validation in this is completely freaking deluded. And given the fact you're barely a fraction of an inch better than a rapist, I'm happy to shatter this fantasy for a pick up artist. You shouldn't feel validated, you aren't a worthy man or a confident man. What you are, is a lying coward who knows they aren't really attractive to women.

The second sort of reasoning I'd be going at is the guy who thinks women are incapable of having sex with someone without finding them valuable. The sluts of our world. They don't think you're special. They don't think you're particularly attractive. They don't think you're good in bed. They just want a warm body with a penis and you fit that bill. So It's a little odd you find this validating. They'd fuck anybody they could be reasonably sure isn't a serial killer. So why is this validating to your identity? She didn't desire you, she desired sex. You're really just a dildo in this. Note, this is why I think men hate sluts so much so often. They're irrefutable evidence women are entirely capable of fucking without it proving a man is valuable in any particular way. And men really need to believe they're valuable because a woman had sex with them for some demented reason.

Finally, why do I think men patting each other on the back for getting sex and attention is so silly...because this would suggest women don't want sex. Which of course they do. That's not the same as finding a man interesting, desirable, or worthy in some cosmic sense. All it proves is that you aren't pond scum or a serial killer. You guys are adding an awful lot into this that simply isn't there.

It says way more about a man if a woman wants a relationship with him than it does if she slept with him. A man getting a relationship has shown at least in some ways he's better than other men. A man who gets sex from women has only shown for sure that he could be good for a night without taking her head home in a suitcase. No commentary on his genes is occurring. Especially given how good our birth control is.

I also think, and this is just my game theory, it says a lot about a man when the kind of women are after him. The number of guys who celebrate themselves for getting the lowest of the low women is just baffling. Like, if you think any women liking you is a sign of some validation of you as a person, I'm just speechless as to how low your regard for yourself is. If you find the interest of pond scum level people validating like...again, you're admitting how low level you are as a man.

houstongradengineer · 2023-01-12T19:03:19+00:00

in the idea that multiple women find desire in him and that in a way that means he or his genetics are valid for reproduction?

No man is "valid" to have multiple families. Co-parenting is a curse, cmv.

I've also said this before, recently: multiple women can desire you without you having sex with them at the same time. Sex does not equal desire. Humans are more complex than that.

It's great to feel confident that someone awesome and special wants you- no one is confused by that. With that said, selling out your personality or your truthfulness for a nut makes you worse than the reddest of light district-ers.

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Title	Why are we confused why men find validation in sex?
Author	Mobrowncheeks
Upvotes	4
Comments	27
Date	January 12, 2023 6:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10a7f59/why_are_we_confused_why_men_find_validation_in_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-we-confused-why-men-find-validation-in-sex.1148598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1148598

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