I saw someone else roast themselfes and I want to do the same for the sake of humor xD

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berryberrykicks · 2021-03-20T15:58:45+00:00

I wish I could remember what user it was, because it was so significant. Someone on FDS summarized men’s emotional “block” more eloquently and accurately than I’ve ever witnessed before or since.

I’ll attempt to capture the concept:

Men are emotional. They’re even “permitted” to feel emotions. They’re not able and/or “permitted” to claim that feeling. Men cannot name the emotion, which leaves them unable to filter or process the emotion, i.e. demonstrate emotional intelligence.

I have an anecdotal example.

The day we buried my father, my mother comes into my hotel room. She’s extremely upset and begs my then boyfriend to please not wear a tie. Apparently, my older brother had forgotten to bring a tie, and he was freaking out. My mother burst into tears, my then boyfriend ripped off his tie, and hugged my mother.

I left the room and found my brother, who was furious. He was pacing and ranting how sloppy and terrible he was for not bringing the “right” clothes.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Do you think maybe this isn’t about a tie and maybe it’s about how much today sucks?” His shoulders sagged and he quietly nodded.

Imagine if he could have just claimed his grief and pain. He wouldn’t have upset the rest of the family (and himself) with his show of self flagellation.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of anecdotes about my brother’s insecurities and anxieties projected as anger towards himself and/or others. It’s exhausting and damaging.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-03-20T14:05:50+00:00

Thank you for writing this post. It is a very quick and clear breakdown of a shitty guy in a relationship. I'm glad you are out of it and free now!

FrogGirl2000 · 2021-03-20T19:25:27+00:00

Thank you for this. Sometimes. I feel bad about all my past horrible tendencies but this really does give me a warm solidarity. The patriarchy harms us all.

Title	I saw someone else roast themselfes and I want to do the same for the sake of humor xD
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	162
Comments	7
Date	March 20, 2021 1:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m97eat/i_saw_someone_else_roast_themselfes_and_i_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-saw-someone-else-roast-themselfes-and-i-want-to.1190297 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190297

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