Does the gap in our sex experience make any difference?

KombuchaEnema · 2021-02-06T19:34:08+00:00

It entirely depends on him.

Some men genuinely enjoy being the person who introduces you to new things. That’s why some of them prefer women with less experience - they genuinely enjoy being in a “mentor” position. Some people assume that it’s malicious (he wants control over you, so he wants you to be inexperienced, for example), but I think there is always an opportunity for a very deep bonding experience whenever you introduce someone to something new that seems scary to them. I know if I was the first person to convince a friend to try a rollercoaster, I’d feel honored that they trusted me enough to try something scary and I’d love to be the one who guides them through that fear. To me it just creates an opportunity for a deeply emotional experience.

When you trust someone during an experience that’s scary, and your trust in them is validated, and you have a good time, it’s a very significant emotional experience. It’s an intense bonding moment. It’s like communicating in a language that’s not spoken, but emotional. “I’m going to put my faith in you, I’m scared, please guide me through this.” It’s an honor to have someone be that vulnerable with you. And then you take care of them when they’re vulnerable. And that creates an intimate bond.

So there’s a chance he might be happy to be the one who gets to introduce you to sex and guide you through those new things when you are ready to try them. He might even feel special and loved that you trust him enough to be that person who guides you through new things.

On the other hand, some guys genuinely do want an experienced girl and get frustrated with girls who are inexperienced because they just want to have crazy mind-blowing sex from the get-go.

I think the only way to know his opinion would be to ask how he feels.

RP_Bear9 · 2021-02-06T23:42:27+00:00

I think you are getting some great advice here. As a general rule most men are probably fine to be with women who are somewhat less experienced, and that is probably even more true with someone who is older than you - and you have already talked about it. Please don't be worried. And maybe a good idea to focus on the emotional side of that experience. It can be quite wonderful to enjoy the cuddling, the kisses, and two bodies just holding each other. If you feel a little nervous, you can always ask that he goes slow when you get to the intimate parts. On the other hand, would not want your being worried about it to preclude you from trying new things and developing a deeper relationship with him. Intimacy (sex) is a key part of any such relationship, and without it, things may not progress forward with him.

IcarusKiki · 2021-02-06T20:25:07+00:00

Idk but if he’s constantly talking about sex it’s a red flag that he sees you as a potential plate and not a romantic prospect. If he’s actually committing to you it’s not an issue and probably a green flag for him that you’re less experienced.

Whisper · 2021-02-06T20:54:52+00:00

It's generally good in sexual relationships for the male to be the more experienced one. This means he can teach and guide.

Which is an excellent opportunity for you to see how good a leader he is. If he just has demands of you about what he wants, which are unfamiliar and scary, that's bad... bail. But if he is able to be calm and confident, put you at ease, please you and teach you, step by step, how to please him... that's a very good sign.

Don't expect him to be able to magically make you not nervous, but do expect him to be able to handle you being nervous.

And if you are nervous... lube. Plenty of lube. Just trust me on this one.

ftc1234 · 2021-02-06T19:58:17+00:00

You should focus on your needs and he should focus on his. Then you should talk about where you both can meet. This is a straight forward conversation if you pose the conversation as a give and take. If you are only giving or taking, then it's a problem.

NotADirtySecret · 2021-02-07T16:11:23+00:00

I think you're making up problems before they even start to exist.

have your boundaries, but only worry about it if he gets close to them. Roll with it!

madame_coco · 2021-02-06T19:30:57+00:00

This makes me so sad

moneygang4life · 2021-02-07T04:29:56+00:00

Most Guys like women with as little experience as possible. I think you’re good. In fact personally I would straight up refuse to date women if they had too many previous partners and although I will not say the number on here it’s probably much lower than u think.

Cold_Ad_9527 · 2021-02-13T02:20:37+00:00

Unequivocally ABSOLUTELY NOT

IMHO

Title	Does the gap in our sex experience make any difference?
Author	madame_coco
Upvotes	27
Comments	14
Date	February 6, 2021 7:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/le4pme/does_the_gap_in_our_sex_experience_make_any/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/does-the-gap-in-our-sex-experience-make-any.1192818 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192818

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