With divorce looming in the horizon, what are some of the best things you can do to prepare for this? One child in the mix.

sonar_avalon · 2020-04-28T19:20:08+00:00

Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. If you think about anything - think lawyer first.

quarthomon · 2020-04-28T20:28:31+00:00

Here is a survival guide from a law firm that helps men with divorce. There are articles on how to prepare and get through it.

https://mensdivorce.com/divorce-survival-guide/

red_philosopher · 2020-04-28T20:38:00+00:00

Be prepared to burn down everything, salt the earth, and commit yourself to finding a strength of resolve you never knew you had

Record everything. EVERYTHING. Texts. Phonecalls. Mail. Facebook posts. Spending. Appointments, ATM visits, interactions and conversations with your spouse, everything.

If your spouse is mentally unstable, get a lawyer immediately.

If you have been abused, file police reports and retain documentation on your hospital visits.

Get a safe deposit box for ALL OF YOUR PAPERS, extra keys, etc.

Get a P.O. Box for your mail.

Close out any joint accounts and establish a banking relationship at a different bank.

Get a separate phone plan.

Change ALL of your passwords, PINs, and passphrases. Use a password manager. And don't use a password she may know to protect it.

Go through everything in your house. Search every page in every book, every hidey-hole, every plant, cupboard, vent, everywhere and everything. Do it in secret if you can.

Start stashing your valuables, loose cash that is unaccounted for, precious metals, etc. Put them in the safe box if needed.

Be prepared for a fight. Best of luck.

xdzgor · 2020-04-28T19:06:35+00:00

Talk about it with family and friends.

2020-04-28T23:10:10+00:00

Go consult with a few local attorneys and even pay the consultation fee if there is one.

Judges and lawyers have professional relationships even though they really shouldn’t.

After that, best advice I can give is do not agree to any other custody arrangement other than 50/50 physical/legal. Everyone will try and sway you to do otherwise but let that be your Hill to die on.

Halafax · 2020-04-28T23:34:05+00:00

If divorce is unavoidable, prepare and file first.

Even if you think you are mentally prepared for a divorce, there are tons of details that have to be thought through and planned around. If your spouse files first, there is a very good chance you’ll spend the entire divorce time reacting to their plan instead of acting on your own. Maintain initiative.

Also, start collecting names of people who see you parent. Make certain you know any friends/teachers/coaches/doctors your child has. “My spouse usually took care of that” will imply you aren’t a primary care giver.

I had miserable luck finding a therapist who didn’t make things worse, but if you are having a very hard time, try to get help. Even if it doesn’t help, you can demonstrate that you are trying.

Hopefully, you’ve got money to cover everything. If you don’t, start figuring out how to manage. Lawyers want money, and they want it now.

quarthomon · 2020-04-28T20:31:09+00:00

Ah, I found it. This is an old guide with CRITICAL advice on taking everything seriously, documenting everything, and fighting to win.

This is MUST HAVE reading. Be aware that the old forum website looks terrible.

http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

rabel111 · 2020-04-29T01:29:27+00:00

Spend as much time with your child as possible. As much time as you can should be in public events, or in the company of others willing to testify to your parenting skills.

This may mean taking a time off work, or spending less time at work for the specific reason of caring for, and spending time with your child.

Apart from being good life advice anyway, this track record of parenting is all that will save you from becoming the "financial father". The courts are extremely supportive of traditional male roles, i.e. men being the absent moneybags.

mrkeifer86 · 2020-04-29T14:08:40+00:00

File for divorce first. File motion to get garenteed 50/50 with no child support to your child. Immediately. Don't wait. Just go do it

Title	With divorce looming in the horizon, what are some of the best things you can do to prepare for this? One child in the mix.
Author	oldskoolflavor
Upvotes	26
Comments	19
Date	April 28, 2020 7:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/g9t955/with_divorce_looming_in_the_horizon_what_are_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/with-divorce-looming-in-the-horizon-what-are-some.1198740 https://theredarchive.com/post/1198740

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