"Men are more likely to leave their spouse who has cancer". (I can't access the article, so can someone check if this is true as the article's title claims or just clickbait. I have seen this article shared on multiple circles)

Headsup1958 · 2020-01-16T13:00:25+00:00

(USA). In 2011 my wife was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive, terminal brain cancer. We knew what we faced as her brother died of the exact same cancer a year before her diagnosis. I did a lot of research on the disease, joined specific forums and spoke to many fellow caregivers.

It saddened me to hear about the number of men who couldn’t cope and left their spouse during the most trying time in a marriage. I also read articles dealing with this but it was 7-8 years ago now so I couldn’t say where I found it.

I couldn’t imagine abandoning my wife like that and vowed I wouldn’t be that type of man. I was right there the whole three year journey. It was tough and had more support from MY family than hers.

I lost my job/career to care for her (no regrets), and was almost ruined financially even with decent insurance. I understand how a guy could break from all this and after what I went through I will pass no judgment on any man.

For reference, I was 56 when she died (61 now), married 19 years, second marriage for both of us. We had five kids between us though none together.

butterandtoast101 · 2020-01-16T06:59:37+00:00

If you ever have trouble reading an article, put it into Outline.com

It's meant for removing all the bullshit distractions that news websites shove into every corner of the page but it's also handy for situations like yours..whatever the reason that you can't see it.

2020-01-16T08:05:48+00:00

Well duh, the women want to stay to get the inheritance

tenchineuro · 2020-01-16T15:13:34+00:00

It was difficult to find the 2009 paper. I think this is it.

https://acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cncr.24577

Here's the abstract.

Abstract
BACKGROUND:
Life-threatening illness creates severe stress that may result in marital discord, separation, or divorce and may adversely impact treatment, quality of life, and survival. The few studies that are available to date have suggested that the risk of divorce is not higher in cancer patients, but to the authors' knowledge, no data exist to date that have examined the effect of gender on this rate.
METHODS:
A total of 515 patients were prospectively identified as having either a malignant primary brain tumor (N = 214), a solid tumor with no nervous system involvement (N = 193), or multiple sclerosis (N = 108) who were married at the time of diagnosis. Basic demographic information and data regarding marital status were compiled. Patients were followed prospectively from enrollment until death or study termination.
RESULTS:
Women composed 53% of the patient population. Divorce or separation occurred at a rate similar to that reported in the literature (11.6%). There was, however, a greater than 6-fold increase in risk after diagnosis when the affected spouse was the woman (20.8% vs 2.9%; P < .001). Female gender was found to be the strongest predictor of separation or divorce in each cohort. Marriage duration at the time of illness was also correlated with separation among brain tumor patients (P = .0001). Patients with brain tumors who were divorced or separated were more likely to be hospitalized, and less likely to participate in a clinical trial, receive multiple treatment regimens, complete cranial irradiation, or die at home (P < .0001).
CONCLUSIONS:
Female gender was found to be a strong predictor of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness. When divorce or separation occurred, quality of care and quality of life were adversely affected.

As mentioned, I don't see any mention that they asked whom divorced whom, they just assume that men are abandoning their sick partners.

dukunt · 2020-01-16T08:20:29+00:00

It says that men are 6 times more likely to leave their spouse if the woman gets cancer. Interesting, especially since 2/3 of divorce are initiated by women.

I think leaving a sick spouse is a shitty thing to do, didn't Dr. Seuss leave his wife when she got cancer? It probably attend from the fact that women are better care givers, on average, and they really are let's face it. That's not too say that men can't be great care givers, because we can. But it doesn't come as naturally to us.

I'd also bet that this younger third wave feminist group aren't as likely to stick it out as as much as their parents generation is.

Anyways, If this is true it's definitely an issue that men should be made aware. It's an easy fix really, if the love of your life gets cancer, remember why you married her and ride out the storm.

On a lighter side, maybe women hang in there waiting for that nice insurance payout? /s

-WolfChop- · 2020-01-16T22:19:43+00:00

Sorry but if ANYONE leaves their significant other because of cancer your a SHIT human.

EvilLothar · 2020-01-16T15:44:09+00:00

Assuming this is in the states, would the financial part of it be an issue. Like if they decide to get a divorce, would she be helped financially by the government because she is now single and unemployable?

I could see couples realizing that this would destroy them financially, so they split up to keep their assets in his name only, so she can get financial help for the treatments.

thereslcjg2000 · 2020-01-16T13:24:53+00:00

(Mostly) debunked on r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates: https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ei72bs/men_are_more_likely_to_leave_their_spouse_if_shes/

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