"We tell men to open up more. But are we ready to listen?"

Lethn · 2019-10-18T11:41:50+00:00

I'm fed up of this constant narrative being aggressively peddled by feminists that men's only problems are 'expressing ourselves' it's an absolute lie and the fact that this is supposed to be an actual doctor talking about this is a load of shit.

Mental health advocates the world over have called for an overhaul of men’s socially prescribed behaviours and the phrase “boys will be boys” has gained toxic infamy.

Feminists, not 'mental health advocates' feminists say this crap, this scumbag has an agenda. The reason I get so fucking riled up about this is at it's core when feminists tell me I can't express myself because I'm a man they're basically claiming that purely by virtue of being a man I'm an improperly functioning human being.

These people can fuck off and I sincerely hope anyone with genuine mental problems stays away from them.

Men-Are-Human · 2019-10-18T09:30:47+00:00

“two in five (41 per cent) have regretted opening up to someone about their mental health.” The other 59% haven’t regretted... yet

Randomstrangerguy123 · 2019-10-18T12:39:45+00:00

I recently went to meet a friend of mine for lunch as she had just gone through a breakup after a long time relationship. She was my next door neighbor when we were kids so we have literally been mates for 40 years.

In telling me about her relationship she opened up and admitted that she felt emotionally abused when he'd cheated on her. So I opened up to her about the domestic abuse I had suffered in my life. I have done this precisely three times before, once to a parent who acted as though I was exaggerating, once to a partner who didn't really know how to deal with it and once to a couple of mates who were supportive.

I guess I wanted to try and bond and come together through opening up to literally my oldest life long friend. I explained three incidents, one attack with a frying pan when i was a student that I was lucky to survive, a time when I was attacked in my sleep over a shitty gossipy conversation and a hysterical knife attack that took place recently. She laughed at me as though I was pathetic and wouldn't stop. Then she had a go at me when I questioned her on it.

Years. What the actual fuck?

I will now only be opening up to very select male friends.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2019-10-18T11:56:19+00:00

These men reflected on how opening up resulted in them feeling like they weren’t taken seriously, had lost respect or were made to feel embarrassed or weak for doing so.

Yep.

It's not that men are toxic and too sexist to open up (ugh feelings are for women, me strong man).

It's that they know if they're suffering and open up they'll be mocked and isolated while still suffering which is worse than suffering in silence and maintaining friends, sexual relationships, status.

Blaming the individual men, putting the entire burden on them to fix this, and labeling it toxic femininity makes as much sense as telling female rape victims in cultures that stone/ostracize women who are raped that this is caused by them not opening up about their experiences and they should just address their toxic femininity by being honest and just get over themselves.

Mode1961 · 2019-10-18T13:35:02+00:00

When women do horrible things - We analyze.

When men do horrible things - We Demonize.

PsychoPhilosopher · 2019-10-18T11:28:20+00:00

Only if it turns out that what's inside them is actually a woman.

When men 'open up' about feeling ignored, or angry or frustrated or burdened, it's a character flaw.

When men open up about being generically 'sad'? Ashamed? Guilty? Sure: Those are all things men are "supposed to be" in a post-feminist world.

Anger is an emotion. It's a positive emotion when channeled and directed towards change.

But our society's utter nigh-pathological phobia of male anger makes it impossible for men to legitimately express what they're actually experiencing.

As long as men have to conform to socially acceptable forms of vulnerability, we'll get nowhere.

criolle · 2019-10-18T15:00:23+00:00

Every time... EVERY TIME a womyn has told me to "Open Up", she was looking for ammunition to use against me.

EvilLothar · 2019-10-18T14:12:14+00:00

These feminists need to stop treating men like defective women. Men deal with their problems differently then women, it's not wrong, it's just different... and the main difference is that men don't deal with their problems WITH WOMEN.

fgrsentinel · 2019-10-18T16:08:26+00:00

Short answer: no

Long answer: modern society is not yet completely capable of seeing men as the victims, as being innocent of whatever they're accused of until proven otherwise, as being parents who care about their children, as honest people that need help. Until the media, government, and physical/mental health professionals stop drinking the feminist cool-aid, they should learn to either shut up about telling men to open up more or stop mocking them when they actually do take that advice and show some weakness.

TheJazzProphet · 2019-10-18T18:13:27+00:00

Short answer, no. Women, in general, want men to be vulnerable in order to gain power over them. Women are not attracted to weak men, no matter how many times she tells you being vulnerable is a sign of strength.

JackFisherBooks · 2019-10-18T17:29:41+00:00

This is a real issue. There's still a significant taboo about men sharing their feelings and opening up about them. I felt it last year when my grandmother passed away. I wanted to open up about it, but I didn't feel like anyone took my feelings seriously, outside my immediate family. The assumption is that men will grit their teeth and get over it, even when they really do need to open up.

In my experience, some people are willing to listen and many of those people are women. But the taboo is still there and if you're a man, you'll still get strange looks if you try to be more open and emotional.

2019-10-21T20:20:19+00:00

99% of the time I try to open up (on the internet at least) I'm called an incel, or some other generic, sex / penis related insult.... Men aren't allowed to vent to other people. I cried myself to sleep on my 31 st birthday because I'd rather wallow in my own sorrow then have someone else see me as weak because I express normal human emotions. This is one of the many reasons why men kill themselves....

Title	"We tell men to open up more. But are we ready to listen?"
Author	ThePigmanAgain
Upvotes	51
Comments	26
Date	October 18, 2019 8:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/djknbq/we_tell_men_to_open_up_more_but_are_we_ready_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/we-tell-men-to-open-up-more-but-are-we-ready-to.1203385 https://theredarchive.com/post/1203385

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