got the 'we need to talk' text

Big_Red_suppository · 2017-12-26T17:02:47+00:00

My last serious girlfriend gave me the "we need to talk 😕" text, yes with the emoji. This came after her sort of giving me the cold shoulder for a few days for reasons I don't know or care to know. She did give me the silent treatment once early in the relationship after I gave her some shit, that's another story, but I decided if she did it again I would be the one not talking to her so that's where we're at.

Here's how I look at it, if she called, left a voice mail, brought it up without the cold shoulder I reciprocate. I understand chicks need closure, if it's over that's all I need to know but I'm not an asshole that gets butt hurt. I'll let it end with class if it's deserving. But at the end of the day I need my self respect.

I called her said "hey what's up", she wants to talk, I say "we're talking". She's going blah blah. Normally I would listen but I decided she isn't worth my time. I ask if she doesn't want to date me any more. More blah blah, I stop her and ask her again. She says yes. I kindly ask her to put my stuff in a box and drop it off whenever she gets a chance, bye.

She does, with a long sappy note. She did not expect me to do what I did, I maintained my self respect. Sometimes they want that exit interview to be completely sure "ah, he is a little bitch". That didn't happen.

My point for that book is that it's over, if she's cool about it though go out with some class. Relationships run their course and I'd like the girls I date to remember me fondly, I don't want to be in a social situation where I'm known in a negative light.

Handle it in a way where you maintain your self respect. Don't be petty, don't be emotional, let her talk, nod your head, maybe give her a hug then get back out there and smash some puss.

ScottDurden · 2017-12-26T17:09:54+00:00

There's one of two things that merit a "we need to talk".

You got caught cheating or are presumed cheating.
The attraction is gone and/or she's fucking Chad & the relationship is over.

mallardcove · 2017-12-26T17:23:03+00:00

Show up
Be direct and keep it short
Don't debate or negotiate

Most likely she is doing this to dump you. There is another guy. It's over. Nothing you can do.

She is doing this in order to gain the upper and and make herself feel better about it. She wants to dump you and for you to get on your knees and beg and plead for it not to happen. She wants you to debate and reason and negotiate with her.

Don't give her the satisfaction.

Show up, and once she drops the bomb, simply say "I agree", get up, walk out as if it didn't bother you at all. It's easier said than done - you don't want to act like a butthurt bitch. Instead get up and walk out like you have all the confidence in the world and dozens of options and that she is the chump.

She is doing this for closure. She wants it to be on her terms. She wants you to make a bitch out of yourself as it will allow her to hamster in her own mind that she made the right choice, because "look at this guy! he is such a whiny bitch! it's clear I made the right choice dumping him, he proved himself unworthy!"

Don't give her the satisfaction of acting like a butthurt bitch.

redhawkes · 2017-12-26T17:53:23+00:00

Your turn is over dude, ghost. Game other chicks.

Westernhagen · 2017-12-26T19:03:33+00:00

You're done. Don't show up, just ghost her.

MattyAnon · 2017-12-26T21:18:11+00:00

what's my best approach to either scenario when we meet up?

What do you want to happen?

Meet up. Hear her out. If she's making demands, deflect with "I can see that's important to you" and don't agree to anything.

If she ends things, say "thanks for all the great times we had together". Be as grateful and happy as you can. End things and walk out with a spring in your step at your newfound freedom.

This will make her either change her mind or at least feel she's made a mistake. Best chance of a conversion to FWB.

aurelius_shrugs · 2017-12-26T16:16:37+00:00

Don’t meet her. It’s over.

walawalawa · 2017-12-27T01:14:50+00:00

I had a girl try this with me---by text.

She was a plate and then suddenly told me that she didnt' think we could see each other right now because---and then some reasons like I wasn't serious.

Funny thing was she didn't even give me any chance to respond...she just said "We shouldn't see each other..."

My response? No response. I was busy traveling so I couldn't reply.

Melt-down ensued....by text and then she blocked me (I think because her picture disappeared)

So to sum up: she wanted to talk, she talked--to herself...convinced herself it was over because I wasn't serious...when I didn't respond she had a fit and blocked me.

This was the SECOND time a girl did that.

One clearly had a meltdown and wanted to bang my friend so she tried provoking me into an argument via text. It was over some pretext. I didn't take the bait. I texted to her "k".

She had a meltdown. Called me all sorts of names. I didn't respond. She went mental, stalked me.

It's been a year and though I have seen her, I have never looked at her or engaged her. HARD NEXT.

You may want to do the same. Save yourself the drama.

Just don't respond.

jb_trp · 2017-12-26T17:37:39+00:00

We're grown ups. Most of the advice on this thread is shit. It's a break up, it's not a game.

It sounds like the LTR really isn't working if you're going weeks and weeks without seeing each other? In the end, the reasons don't really matter. LTRs are good until they're not, and then it's time to hit the eject button.

If you're putting in the work on yourself, your value can go up and up, even as you get older. Her value (which for women is based on youth and beauty) is only going to fade over time. My point: Don't fear the break up. Embrace it. You don't want to waste your time on a bad relationship. And use any pain or anger you have as fuel for self-improvement.

Bring any of her stuff you might have and have it in the car. This will allow for a clean break. When you meet up with her, don't really worry about the reasons she gives you--women can say all sort of horrible shit that often aren't even true. Keep it brief, don't let her see you cry, and end it. Don't beg or try to convince her to stay... Just let her go.

Metalageddon · 2017-12-26T17:05:18+00:00

Best response to that is to send back, "yeah I think it's time." Then add a date and time to meet and don't respond.

You can easily buy yourself a few more lays with the dread, but you should mentally check out. It's done. Spin to win in the meantime.

fnordsnord · 2017-12-26T18:40:06+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

Cardinal85 · 2017-12-26T21:28:59+00:00

This happened to me a couples of months ago .As soon as i got it i called her and it didn’t go well bc i was mad and what not. If you still want something with her I recommend blocking her on everything and go no contact . Once she saw this the texts and calls start coming. She called me 30 times in three days and even showed up at my place wanting to talk( i was at the gym and she thought I was with another girl). Then after a week of no contact she wanted to meet up and talk. Here’s the most important thing you need to do, don’t say you want her back but Just say you’re not interested in a platonic relationship and you had fun and what not while implying you’re outcome independent. Most guys will beg for her back. Do something shes never seen a guy do before. We hooked up at my place right after she saw i was fine without her. Don’t be needy, be alpha. Watch some corey wayne if you truly want her back. Hope this helps!

catalisto · 2017-12-27T01:56:41+00:00

Ghost, it's over.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-12-26T17:02:41+00:00

Meet her but don't give her a chance to talk at all. Break up with her first.

hellprince7 · 2017-12-26T17:17:50+00:00

MAn, dont turn up at the meeting place, just ghost her

juliusstreicher · 2017-12-26T22:52:29+00:00

If you DO decide to meet her tell her she has to pay.

Title	got the 'we need to talk' text
Author	redpillthrowaway1988
Upvotes	15
Comments	25
Date	December 26, 2017 4:05 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7m8j18/got_the_we_need_to_talk_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/got-the-we-need-to-talk-text.120780 https://theredarchive.com/post/120780

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