I am over utilized at work because I'm a man who works predominantly with women but it's starting to drain me.

GM_Timephone · 2022-07-11T19:02:46+00:00

Yeah man rant away, it sounds like you're really being taken for granted there.

Having healthy boundaries is super important, both at work and in your personal relationships. If you feel like you're overtaxed from all the extra work you do at your job, putting up these boundaries is going to essential for your positive mental health.

If you're looking for advice, I recommend starting with "Sorry I can't do ______for you, but I can show you how to do it yourself."

If your co-worker is leaving stuff for you to take care of, go grab them and say "Hey, we need to do _______ right now." And make them help you do the thing. This way you make sure they know how to do it themselves.

I many cases, once you start putting up boundaries, people who have previously taken advantage of you are going to be put out. Try to ignore it, because they'll eventually get used to it. If they broach the subject negatively just remind them that unfortunately that task is not a part of your jobs responsibilities, and your job responsibilities keep you busy enough. If you stay calm and firm they'll eventually stop asking.

You might want to also make a list of the extra duties you perform while at work and the time it takes you to do these tasks. For example: "from 1pm - 1:30pm I helped Brad from ______ department with stocking items". This will allow you to show your boss how much extra work you're doing, and could be used to give you a raise or promotion.

Hopefully these strategies will help you not get taken advantage of at your place of work. Good luck.

empathylion · 2022-07-11T20:38:53+00:00

Honestly, you're over-utilized because you allowed it and because they probably don't mind exploitation. You didn't set boundaries and didn't stick to your job responsibilities. They haven't given a shit about your well-being.

Sure , maybe you don't mind doing a little extra here and there, but really you should be getting compensated for going above and beyond. Your time isn't free, your body isn't free and neither are limitless. They haven't treated you fairly and you know it.

So two things I recommend you do if you don't want to find new work in a non-toxic workplace , 1. set boundaries and 2. ask for a higher pay.

But honestly, judging by how you said they treat their customers and how they treat their hardest working employees - I recommend you work elsewhere. Changing that work environment would be such a massive uphill battle as a worker on the floor that I don't think it's worth it. That kind of culture change needs to start at the top , but clearly , given that you've complained multiple times before - they don't give a shit. If you look for a job elsewhere, try to talk to the people that work there and see what it's truly like before you accept any position. Good luck man.

Algoresball · 2022-07-11T20:13:40+00:00

Sounds like it’s time to tell them that if they want you to continue doing all this extra work, you need a raise

whosdirty · 2022-07-12T04:54:06+00:00

Apply at Costco if you’d like I will gladly vouch for you, just send me a pm. Some days certainly feel like that for me, but important thing is to work for a company that values you, along with coworkers. Best part about my job is that people are aware that I am doing excess work, it will pay off in the end!

FatherOfLights88 · 2022-07-12T05:13:57+00:00

This is going to be your life lesson in setting and enforcing boundaries.

If you continue being this much of a doormat, it will only end in the resentment that you are beginning to feel swell into something destructive to what's left of your well being.

Your helper is lazy. He doesn't take the initiative that you take. This is why everyone heaps the work onto you. Most people in this world as passive little pansies and are just as incapable of asserting themselves as you are. What does this mean, you ask?...

If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.

If I were you, and had a 'helper', I would regard him as a subordinate and make sure he's kept busy... you know... helping me out. This is your responsibility to learn to delegate your responsibility and stop taking it all on... just because you can.

So, when you're busy, and your helper isn't, and someone hands you a ticket while you're on the middle of something already, all you have to do is say "Oh, hey, please give that to him, because I'm in the middle of something right now." If they push back on you, stand your ground and ask them again to look for him instead.

If you need help with something, and you know he's being useless, go get him and put him to task. Don't ask your boss to be his boss. YOU are his boss. If he gives you shit, then go to management and say "Hey. This guy is useless. Let him go and hire someone that actually provides this company value for their wages."

If you can't make any of this work, because no one will get on board with an assertive you, then find another job. I can guarantee you, however, that if you don't learn to properly assert yourself, this problem will follow you wherever you go.

Can you try to adjust to asserting your needs more? It's the only way you're going to survive on this world. If you can't, I can promise that they'll suck you dry and chuck your spent husk to the curb.

It's OK to tell people "No. I'm busy right now."

Practice saying it. And... Good luck!!!

YesAmAThrowaway · 2022-07-12T08:26:10+00:00

Is it part of your title and job description?

If not, or if you are the only one doing certain things other people should be doing too, "perhaps it is appropriate to re-evaluate the work that I am doing and whether it would make sense to match my job description and title, along with additional compensation for the additional duties I am asked to perform regularly."

Mrstrawberry209 · 2022-07-12T10:19:42+00:00

Run, dude. Run!

Tm_1985 · 2022-08-13T12:31:14+00:00

Buddy I’ve been there too. To be honest I would start looking for a different job. People have a nasty habit of relying too much on other people such ourselves and just because we don’t complain doesn’t mean we don’t get tired of doing everything for them. We too have feelings and it’s upsetting that as men people in general don’t consider our emotions because we are men. Like we are made of stone. Also, you can’t please everyone and expect to be happy with yourself. I used to do everything for my coworkers specially the females because I’m socially awkward and I wanted for people to like me and maybe some day a girl would maybe give me a chance to go out on a date with her. But one day I realized that wasn’t happening. So I made me more of a priority and even though those people went from being my “friends at work” to the people that thought I was an a-hole now, I learned to respect myself. Bud , respect yourself because no one that isn’t a true friend will.

Title	I am over utilized at work because I'm a man who works predominantly with women but it's starting to drain me.
Author	judgefro
Upvotes	42
Comments	21
Date	July 11, 2022 6:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/vwpg6e/i_am_over_utilized_at_work_because_im_a_man_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/i-am-over-utilized-at-work-because-im-a-man-who.1209388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209388

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