I have been married for 10 years. Its been rocky the last three or four years have been very hard. She cheated 3 years ago. I have stayed for the kids 1 and 3 at the time. I probably do still love her. I certianly don't like her. Our communication is horrible neither trusts the other enough to talk about our feelings or problems

I feel like i am wasting my life with her. I also don't want to loose time with my kids or control over what happens in their day to day lives.

Im afraid of the environment that she might subject them too yet i am in no mental position to be willing to take on a major legal fight for full or 50/50 custody.

Stuck between two hard choices and feel like no matter what i do i will regret it.

Was considering offing myself last week but too close of a call so i sold my firearms. I probably should just be happy to be alive at the moment.