Why am I weaker than most men??? Like mentally and physically..it sucks.. can’t defend myself and always getting talked about and stuff…I feel like if I got stronger I would still be weaker..what should I do?

WeEatBabies · 2023-04-15T00:11:51+00:00

Go on youtube and look up powerlifting 5x5 training.

Also, for self defense, running away is best.

If you need more confidence, look up a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gym.

Minimum-Platypus1814 · 2023-04-15T00:07:06+00:00

Going to the gym or starting a fitness routine is a good place to start. Maybe start walking/jogging and some bodyweight exercises depending on your fitness level.

jjj2576 · 2023-04-15T02:12:20+00:00

When was the last time you lifted something heavy?

Asatmaya · 2023-04-15T00:22:49+00:00

Attitude is everything.

Physical weakness doesn't mean much; the baddest guy in the world can walk down the wrong alley but not walk out, and the little guy in the corner can pick up a chair and whack you over the head with it. Then there are guns.

The mental side is much more important; you have to be in the kind of mindset where you can do those kinds of things, and it doesn't come naturally to most people. That's why military training is so harsh, and why there is a mystical side to most martial arts.

The other way people find themselves in that mindset is out of desperation, an emergency comes up where they need to act, and if they haven't had that kind of training, most people will freeze up or panic. Some people will do so even with training, that's just how it is.

Ironically, going through either such training or actual emergencies will tend to improve your physical health, barring injury (or death...), but even with all of that, one day you will get old and what strength you gained will be lost. How will you face the world, then?

Your problem is not a lack of strength but of courage. Take heart, you are stronger than you think.

And then one day you will get old, and what strength you had will be gone; how will you face the world, then?

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-04-15T01:38:55+00:00

Almost the exact same line of thinking I had. I still do tbh even after I started exercising and got decently strong. Personally, I learned to not care about being particularly physically strong. If I can do my day to day activities with no issues, then I'm strong enough because what's the point of me being able to lift 300 lbs other than to show off? If I'm attacked, I'm probably screwed even if I could lift that much. I'm just going to live life being nice, staying relatively safe, and assuming I'm not going to die/get captured around every corner.

Being mentally weaker is where it sucks. Not really much you can do there. You just need to get some self confidence. Therapy might help, but it also might not. It's better to try it rather than not. I'm certainly in a better place now that I'm at least a little more self confident. My self confidence pales in comparison to probably 90% of the population, but it's letting me survive.

As for getting talked about, either confront those people, cut them out of your life, or ignore them. I went with the ignore them option. I try to just change how they talk about me into something maybe more positive, mainly just a completely unserious joke. Doesn't work for everyone and loses its effect when they say the same thing about you over and over again though.

Overall, it's about self confidence. When you have more self confidence and carry yourself in a way that exudes self confidence, you'll feel better and get treated better tbh. Good luck on trying to figure that out.

Edit: I stopped caring about being physically strong before I started exercising. I only started exercising so I could live day to day life without feeling sore or getting tired from moving around a little.

ElisaSKy · 2023-04-15T02:07:29+00:00

Let's be honest for a minute, strength has nothing on sheer ruthlessness. It's a lesson you won't learn doing martial arts, but one you'll learn very fast doing Krav Maga.

While there's a limit to how much ruthlessness can help you in a fight, and it's not really useful outside of a fight...

Well, I certainly sleep better at night with a glass bottle filled with tap water next to my bed.

SouthernSeeker · 2023-04-15T04:34:14+00:00

Stop defining yourself by your ability to beat the crap out of people.

-Soggy-Potato- · 2023-04-15T12:47:23+00:00

getting physically stronger wouldn’t necessarily solve your deeper insecurities, it’d just be masking them.

tying your self worth / confidence / value to being muscular or fitting into a traditional masculine stereotype, the mindset just breeds body dysmorphia and self-hate

you gotta learn to love yourself, accept or own your perceived flaws, or ideally try and move away from this damaging mindset. going to the gym should be a means of ‘enrichment’, not a solution

Loving yourself and adding / enhancing to that starting point will make you so much happier and more confident in the long run, than it would be to hate yourself and trying to physically ‘change’ who you are

Potential_Speaker_53 · 2023-04-14T23:49:49+00:00

Also yes I am a man.

odysseytree · 2023-04-15T08:17:49+00:00

Buy a gun.

thefujirose · 2023-04-15T01:19:56+00:00

Sounds like you should talk to a therapist.

mrkpxx · 2023-04-15T08:10:54+00:00

Some of the answers can be found in these books:

- No more Mr. Nice Guy - Robert A. Glover

- Practical Female Psychology - David Clare, Joseph W. South, Franco

Yozora1337 · 2023-04-15T11:06:41+00:00

Semen retention, meditation & workout.

n2hang · 2023-04-15T13:16:10+00:00

Take the high road and treat others with grace... be a man of good character, friendly. Work on the mental side, educate yourself by reading... include the bible. Work on things that make you lack confidence and can be fixed. Don't fret the rest. Be confident but remain humble and teachable. Its a balance that will make your life better and the side effect will be respect. Totally agree with earlier post... you are stonger than you think.

WorldlinessCold5335 · 2023-04-16T13:57:26+00:00

Worrying so much about what others think is part of the weakness dude..

Use_me_one_time · 2023-04-16T14:11:25+00:00

Tren hard, test your limits, anavar give up!

UnwantedThrowawayGuy · 2023-04-16T14:53:18+00:00

Why do you feel you're weak? Why do you feel you need to defend yourself? Why do you feel you have to prove to anybody you are intelligent?

Every one of these things is just you feeling that you do not measure up to the expectations of other men.

You are a victim of sexism.

Work on feeling better about who you are, not who people expect you to be.

Hugs

Forcetobereckonedwit · 2023-04-16T16:16:23+00:00

How you feel about yourself is very important. If those are your feelings about yourself then you should start training your body and mind. Study meditation/stoicism/masculine energy. Exercise vigorously, in whatever interests you. Boxing, jujitsu, bodybuilding, dance, gymnastics, any martial art.

Those things will transform you immensely, and you'll be very glad you started.

Trust me, I know. I am naturally a smaller man and quite sensitive to everything around me, artistic etc. I set out to improve myself when in my teens and never stopped. I'm now in my 60s. I became the man I desired to be. I'm not afraid of anything and I don't give a fuck about what lesser people think of me.

It's a good place to be. Start today.

Happy to talk with you offline if you like.

A_blue_horse · 2023-04-16T17:23:10+00:00

You should start a martial art. It's doesn't even need to immediately go for something like mma even martial arts clubs for things like kickboxing will also do strength and conditioning training I've been going for several months and I know I'll never be ralph macchio but I definitely feel like I'm more focused and a little more empowered

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