I used to bully a kid in high school. I sent him a sex tape of me and his ex girlfriend. He dropped out of school after that and went on to become a drug addict. I feel absolutely horrible about it and cant get over the feeling that I ruined his life.

1,651 points•229 comments•submitted by inleereke to r/confession

I was a terrible kid in high school. I was sort of a stereotypical jock bully kind of guy. I specifically bullied this one kid Jack, who I just... irrationally hated. I thought he was so unbelievably lame at the time, and me and my friends couldn't resist picking on him. Even just thinking about it makes me cringe. He was sort of an emo/scene kid who would wear anime shirts, which made him a big target for us.

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He dated a girl named Jess, but apparently they broke up on really bad terms. He would write on myspace (this was a while ago) that he desperately missed her and wanted her back, and he was sorry. Jess sort of became friends with our group afterwards, something I am sure Jack hated. One day we got drunk together and Jess was ranting about how much she disliked Jack and that he was a sad pathetic person, and eventually we hooked up and our friends left. We were both sort of... idk how to describe it, in this evil, drunken mood. We decided to send a video of us having sex to Jack. The worst part was that in retrospect, she actually had no real reason to hate Jack, she just hated that he was 'pathetic' and 'needy'. She was a terrible person too I suppose. Hanging out with us made her a bully. Jack was never mean or cruel to her, she hated him because she thought he was too much of a loser. I mean what the FUCK was wrong with us that we were like this??

He responded to the video saying that he wants to speak with Jess, and that was it. I told my friends what happened, they thought it was HILARIOUS, and soon it was spread all over the school that I had sex with Jess and sent the video to Jack. I remember seeing Jack in the hallway and I saw his face, and it literally pains me to think about it, but at the time I thought it was awesome. His face was puffy red, his chin wobbly, his eyes were red, it was clear he was crying before or maybe the sight of me made him want to cry again. We hysterically laughed at him, right to his face, and basically made fun of him by saying that we fucked his girl.

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I CRINGE in pain at the memory of that. I literally wish Jack just took out a fucking knife and jabbed us all in the throat. I cannot believe we ever thought that was an okay way to fucking treat someone. And 99% of it was just trying to make my friends laugh, trying to see just how cruel we could be to push things to extremes. I am not even sure if I can fully understand the mindset I was in, it was a sense of complete superiority and distaste for someone 'weak' like that.

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Jack would end up switching schools very soon after. Well, first he dropped out of school, then he went to an alternative school I think? Something like that. Regardless, I found his facebook page maybe a year or so later. My stomach dropped. It was filled with statuses about his addiction to pills and his attempts at recovery. Lots of stuff about the pain and anguish of his life and how much he struggles with mental health. Its been a decade, and I still check his facebook page a lot... and its the same thing. Hes now a heroin addict. He goes through bouts of recovery, then relapse, then recovery. I cannot help but feel fucking guilty. This happened right when he transferred schools. He mentioned it in his status that it happened when he left our school, that was when he got addicted to pills. He also mentioned he left his school because everyone hated him there.

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I sent him a message saying how sorry I was, and that I cannot believe I ever acted the way I did, and that I apologize to the fullest for how we treated him. He left me on seen, which is understandable.

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It sucks. It makes me feel terrible about this. I wish I could just... idk, DO something to make up for it. And it makes me feel terrible, I went on to have a great life. I went to a good college, am married and have a 1 year old kid, I live in a nice area in a (relatively) nice house. I sometimes think I would feel better if it was the kind of trope where the bully has a hard life and the kid getting bullied ends up super successful and the bully ends up a drunken loser. But that isn't what happened.

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I don't think there is anything in my entire life that I regret as much as what I did to Jack.