Hurt and confused about boyfriends calls

rosesonthefloor · 2023-06-30T19:41:29+00:00

If you’ve already told him that you wish you two would talk more, it sounds like he sees the calls as an obligation rather than something he wants to do simply for wanting to speak with you. But if you could provide additional context, that would be helpful for giving advice.

How many times a day do the two of you talk on the phone? And how is your disposition on the calls? Is he warmer and less rushed when you see him in person? Some men just aren’t big on texting or calling (like my boyfriend) - perhaps he’s like this too.

Also - how old are the two of you? And which of you calls the other more often?

Trying to dictate his mood on the calls will likely backfire, so it might help to take a break for a while, and then when you resume phone calls, be extra bubbly and sweet when talking to him. If you want this to be something he also wants to do, you have to make the experience positive - and you catch more flies with honey!

Jenneapolis · 2023-06-30T21:28:06+00:00

Whatever you do, do not tell him not to call you unless he talks nicer or whatever. This is controlling and masculine energy and issuing an ultimatum. He will either comply and be even more pissed off or you may just get what you want and he never calls again. You catch more flies with honey. Be sweet even if he’s not. Maybe he wants you to call him instead of doing all the effort?

Yougotmetripping · 2023-07-01T01:23:52+00:00

Have there been times when it's been a long intimate conversation? Like the conversation flowed easily and you spoke for a long time perhaps an hour or so?

I ask because I HATE talking on the phone. I'll avoid it if I can. I will deliberately not pick up a call and message to say "oh sorry I missed your call" etc.

Do you think this could be your boyfriend as well? Phone calls in general might seem laborious?

AutoModerator · 2023-06-30T19:23:33+00:00

Title: Hurt and confused about boyfriends calls

Full text: Hi guys . I may need some advice. So my boyfriend of a year the past 2 months or so he will call me and when I answer he sounds so rushed , I hardly get a chance to talk and then he will say he has to go to do XYZ. he just sounds rushed stressed and I find it a bit rude how he is rushing me off the phone.

I’m going to say his mood seems low lately aswell . I know hes stressed with his personal life at the minute but I find if he’s going to call me , can he not at least try and be upbeat and habe a few minutes of nice conversation if the call is only 2 mins or so.

I don’t mind the calls being short but I am getting upset everytime he called he seems to be rushed stressed , and doesn’t seem like he’s happy to talk to me. It’s confusing because he mis called me 20 times yesterday when I was asleep so I thought he was excited to speak to me, when I eventually answered it was the same , short rushed low mood and stressed.

What do I do? Its starting to upset me . I don’t feel important anymore or like he’s happy to talk to me. I have already tried telling him I wish we could talk more. Should I maybe put a boundary up and send a message saying dont call me unless you will be less harsh with me? I don’t know how to approach this in a non anxoious way. Thanks

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TheBunk_TB · 2023-07-01T02:39:09+00:00

Is he better talking in person?

scarletcapsule · 2023-07-02T05:45:50+00:00

How does he behave on video calls when seeing your face can potentially make him calmer and happier?

Have you both tried calling at a fixed time of day so it does not disrupt his plans?

Maybe he is a bad caller and texter or becomes very stressed when he has to call you or anyone.

TheDan767 · 2023-07-19T09:01:59+00:00

He seems like a child, find a grown up or let him know you want a nice phone convo and he can’t do it for whatever reason and only hang out in person. Regardless a normal big boy won’t act like that. He’s a kid.

Title	Hurt and confused about boyfriends calls
Author	elsafrozen123
Upvotes	1
Comments	14
Date	June 30, 2023 5:36 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/14n6u5s/hurt_and_confused_about_boyfriends_calls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/hurt-and-confused-about-boyfriends-calls.1223857 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223857

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