So, as the title says I'm back to square 1.

In the past 2-3 months, I was in this uphill of things going well, me being energetic, doing well academically, always on top of things, improving my mental health and for the past week, it's all downhill, I've become so tired, lethargic, didn't do that well academically ( didn't fail but not up to my standards), back to feeling sad of being alone and feeling all the good people I know are leaving me.

So to the feeling alone part, so I think by now y'all know this but I'm an introvert but if someone approaches me and I feel comfortable I'm all over the place...so till now there are 3 people I would say are the only genuinely nice people I know. 1 left the country, the other is leaving as well and the 3rd he's here. So the 2nd friend, she actually showed me how a female friendship should be, she was so relaxed, didn't like to bitch about people, showed genuine interest in things that you liked, loved hugs, took care of you, was so ready to make you meet her parents and had 0 filters and was ready to talk about anything...she got engaged before leaving and I know like people sometimes feel that it should be them but the moment I saw the joy and happiness in her eyes when she spoke about him and their relationship, I know I couldn't give her or anyone that and knew she deserved it.....I'm side tracking but it's so gonna hit me hard when she leaves as she's the only girl I know who is so relaxed and open with me and doesn't bring negativity into anything....and once she goes I don't know whose house I'm going to go and have long open conversations with ...and I know people say try dating apps and that's just BS cause I know, objectively I'm not the hottest person in the room nor the polar opposite and my balding genetics isn't helping my case either....and I have 0 time to go to these campus clubs as I've too much on my plate already ...if I have time to breathe that's a huge plus 1.

And I just feel tired man, I feel lonely, my sleep is all over the place ( I'm still been hitting the gym 2-3 times a week) but I'm no longer on top of things, and as a result my academics is getting negatively affected.

And I feel I'm not a great friend but I'm tired of always being the person to message first and try to carry a conversation.....and the girl I've mentioned above, it's always both sides, sometimes I forget to reply and she follows up and I do the same.....I'm just tired and give up.