Another update (I can’t keep titling them update because then it looks like spam but I need a title and I’m bad at titles)

I had appointment again

We were wrong that a program where government pays partly for an apartment I can live cuts off funding (so I don’t get support). My my workers said now we that what happens is they reassess me to see what my support needs are and theyll give me more support living in an apartment

My OT said “clinically i dont support you living on your own” because of emergencies. She said some emergency examples I hurt myself, someone breaks in, a fire, pipe bursts (idk what that means). She said she’s worried about my “ability to respond to emergencies.” She askt what I’d do in an emergency, I said my sister. She said my sisters not 911 and she’s confused why I’d ask for someone I have bad relationship with in emergency. I’d do that because I can’t talk to police myself and my sister is the only closest to here (1 hour) to come talk to police for me. Still though she’s against it she helpt us find out how to do it I’m glad.

I ask my psw if I can call him in emergencies and he said he can’t promise me because soon he has to go back to school and so he can’t be there a lot (he’ll still works with me though). So I will go with my sister. I get new psws added on too maybe 1 of them (I only met 1 yet) can call in emergencies instead we will see.

They don’t have resources to give 24:7 support / supervision (that’s what they recommend me), so I’d be alone with my bunny daughter often. Idk what’s the max amount of time they can be with me. As long as someone is there daily to do stuff we need I think I’ll be ok temporarily.

These problems, they’re only temporary, I just have to survive maybe few months then I get put in a decent group gome lr another living program with 24:7 care. It’s not as risky as living like this for years, the small time frame I’ll be living like this reduces the risks , and I’m ok to take the risks. My other option is death anyway

My psw said he loves my “sense of humour” that I’m hilarious without trying. I don’t understand a lot of the things he finds funny I do (this time he askt me if I noticed he cleant his car, and I said no and he thought that was hilarious, I don’t know why). But it’s nice it makes me happy that I can make him happy I like making people laugh. So it’s good that I’m unintentionally funny.

I like that when I askt him if I could call him in emergencies he was honest. I appreciate honesty. It’s nice. It makes me trust him more when he’ll tell me things I don’t want to hear.