I'm not part of the Red Pill, but I do get how it has appeal, especially when it seems impossible. I'm turning 34 tomorrow and a single date is the extent of my experience.

I'm on the autism spectrum, so communication is very difficult for me. In my younger years, I was more open about it, hoping they'd be more understanding that I wasn't trying to be rude or hostile. Instead, it only made things worse, so I'm far more reluctant now. Mistakes have often resorted in ugly consequences. One at my last Christmas about got me in a fistfight, and more than one budding friendship has been destroyed by me saying something at the wrong time. I try to apologize, the response is: "Fuck you, we're done, get out of my life!" Even mentioning autism, it's treated as nothing but an excuse.

It's not "Oh, God, life isn't worth living if I can't get laid!" as much as it is wanting that sense of connection, of intimacy, affection, someone I can share experiences with. I'm genuinely happy for the couples I see, but there is a certain twinge of jealousy that I've never experienced it for myself.

I acknowledge the fear is probably silly, but it doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm concerned that my hypothetical partner isn't going to want to take the time to be patient with you, to show me what a romantic relationship is like. (And yes, this applies to sex as well, if it progresses that far) It's something that gets harder as I grow older, since most people have careers, families, and existing social circles that don't want new members.