In YouTube videos and shorts from Red Pillers/the Manosphere/dating coaches that I've seen, these people say that women being in their masculine and men in their feminine will always harm a relationship; The woman will lose respect for her man and feel unsafe, or the man will get tired of being argued with and up and leave. I've also heard in these videos that if a woman is masculine, or a man is feminine, it's due to trauma or growing up in a dysfunctional home.

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Now, let's not beat around the bush here. YES, there are women who have to be masculine due to trauma or being in a broken home, and they want a competent, masculine man so that they can feel feminine and safe. And YES, there are men who are feminine due to trauma or a broken home (in this case, growing up with a single mom), and want to be masculine and have a loving, soft woman who can speak life into them. YES, many women want masculine men. YES, many men want feminine women.

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But my problem is that all these podcasters, content creators, and dating coaches ONLY say that men being feminine/women being masculine is due to some bad outcome. I'm not saying that's not the reason why some men and women are like this. My argument is that that's not the only reason. There's a lot of reasons why some women are more masculine than others, and some men more feminine than others, and that's something I believe the Red Pillers/Manosphere and dating coaches should consider.

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For one, it could be your influence in the home. Some of us know that one girl who had at least 2 older brothers or was way closer to her dad than her mom, and ended up being a major tomboy. So if you're a soft or just feminine guy, you likely were closer to your female relatives than your male relatives (I was) and as a result, most of your influence came from them. Or maybe both your mom and your dad were masculine or feminine.

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Ladies, have some of you just started out as kind of a tomboy? Gentlemen, have some of you just started out life being kind of a soft boy? Well, if you were like that for as long as you can remember, it could be due to your brain chemistry and hormones. During the early 1990s, there was a study called the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children, conducted in Avon, England.

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During an 18-month (1 and a half years) period, 13,998 pregnant women had samples of their blood taken at key moments during their pregnancies. Those blood samples were analyzed and had levels of testosterone checked. Mothers who had higher levels of testosterone were more likely to have daughters who engaged in masculine behavior. I couldn't find any studies on why some boys are naturally more feminine, but if they were exposed to more feminine hormones in the womb and that caused it, I wouldn't be surprised.

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So yes, a woman could be in her masculine energy due to trauma or baggage, or it could be because most of her influence as a kid was masculine, or she may have been exposed to more testosterone in the womb. A man could be feminine due to trauma, baggage, more feminine influence, or being exposed to more female hormones in the womb. There's many reasons why some people don't conform to traditional gender roles, and the Red Pill and dating coaches don't seem to understand that.

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EDIT: If there are any other reasons for men being feminine/women being masculine, or you have any critiques about my argument, let me know in the comments below.