Life just feels like torture and although I'm managing it better cause im older, deep down I'm still miserable because of my bad genes which my parents passed down onto me.

Also on top of that my family house hold was very toxic growing up and my parents sucked at raising me.

What I hate most though is living my life as ugly dude because of my bad genetics.

I'm just going to say it, deep down I've always wanted to have a girlfriend just feel loved and desired by a woman. This is one of my biggest wishes and sounds like something that will never come true.

Its funny because people say im great chill dude irl and I know personally there is nothing I need to "fix" for me to be dateable. I'm sick and tired of hearing about all this "self-improvement" bullshit just to get an average girl. What really comes down to is looks, looks is what gets you in the front door and better looking you are the more your "flaws" dont matter.

Now I have no idea what I'm living for anymore. I'm not one of those lone wolf male archetypes living in the cabin in the woods so thats not option. I really don't see the point of trying so hard in society just to get really nothing out of it.

To all the dudes who have poor genetics and never been in a relationship before, what is the point of working hard even to survive? Yes I guess you could make more money and live decent lonely life but it just feels so sad and punishing not because your alone but the fact that you were unable to attract a female.

I really do think for incels the brain in some weird way does punish you for being failure to attract a girl which makes other areas of your life more miserable. Like nature is punishing you hard because of your bad genes like we should not be existing, like we are outliers.

Anyways this is my rant.