I always keep hearing it from them online, including on r/autism and other places. They say autistic girls aren't better socially or aren't on a better part of the spectrum and that they just mask more because the patriarchy made society hate women and thus they must mask. This never made sense to me. First, there's this thread of mine which elaborates on how autistic men probably hide their autism in a different way: they socially withdraw because they can't mask and their social skills are seriously disabled, whereas autistic women, despite being more introverted, socialize with people more and face the music, blending in. This was found to be true even among elementary school autistic kids, before socialization would take effect.

Additionally, multiple studies have consistently shown that people stigmatize autistic men more than autistic women, even when controlling for masking and intensity of autism traits. They also perceived neurotypical women more socially favorably than neurotypical men, and concluded being a woman is a protective factor from being perceived as socially unlikeable for autistic women. Additionally, a cross-cultural study found that across all countries, people stigmatize men who defy their gender roles more than women who do.

It could be that autistic women's autism just manifests differently. They naturally have better ability to make good conversations, and have less restricted, repetitive routines/behaviors/interests. In fact, they tend to be more like neurotypical men and their social skills/mindset than they are like autistic men. They, in other words, are like a mentally/socially masculine woman. This might explain why they're far more likely to be gender fluid than autistic men.

In other words, autistic women's autism is less disabling and doesn't ruin their social skills and ability to function in life. They, as a result, can mask more if they wanted to, unlike autistic men, and they aren't as stigmatized even when controlling for masking and intensity of autism traits. This is why autistic women find jobs more easily, go to college more, have more relationships/sex, and have better social lives compared to autistic men.

Autistic women usually have level 1 autism. Autistic men usually have level 2 autism.