Incorporating kindness without niceguyism?

moviemaker10 · 2018-02-19T22:12:49+00:00

Kindness is helping someone when they NEED something. Niceness is helping someone who COULD HAVE DONE IT THEMSELVES. At least that’s how I see it. I think I’m kind when I help a homeless person or help an old lady cross the street. I feel like a ‘nice guy’ when I buy a bimbo a drink or help the girl at work lift something moderately difficult.

aurelius_shrugs · 2018-02-19T22:05:02+00:00

True kindness is giving a person what they need. Women need a dominant, male influence and vigorous fucking. Women invariably mistake kindness for weakness. Caveat emptor.

CommanderCumlord · 2018-02-19T22:28:26+00:00

There is nothing wrong with being assertive. You know what you want? Good. There is a big difference between being a manservant pleasing others and being assertive. In one case you’re being honest with your intentions and it isn’t always pleasant. In the other you’re getting trampled. I know which I’d rather choose for myself and everyone else.

lookoutitscaleb · 2018-02-20T07:15:08+00:00

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." The original word that was translated into the English word "meek" didn't mean weak. It meant something more along the lines of "having power/guns but choosing not to use them unless necessary". "Speak softly and carry a big stick".

Kindness is something you choose to give where deserved, when you deem the person or scenario worthy of your kindness. Niceguyism is something you do to validate your own self-worth.

If you have already validated yourself and have True Confidence you can feel safe being kind to someone. You're not showing kindness from a place of neediness or to be acknowledged. You do it because you want to. The outcome is that you did what you wanted because you wanted to. Don't blow your own horn.

2gunsgetsome · 2018-02-19T22:16:12+00:00

Give / do whatever YOU want to / for others in the way you want to do it. Don't predicate your enjoyment of your own act of giving on the way the gift is received and / or appreciated.

Make the choice to give, don't be persuaded to do it.

NightwingTRP · 2018-02-20T01:36:46+00:00

Try thinking of kindness in the relevance of IDGAF... if you can string those together you'll be fine.

If you look at my response with a furrowed brow then you're not ready and "kindness" is not the thing for a recovering "niceguy" to be looking at.

LogicOptics · 2018-02-20T09:12:53+00:00

niceguyism = doing nice things, and expecting reward

kindness = doing nice things, for the goodness of your soul, expecting nothing else.

Title	Incorporating kindness without niceguyism?
Author	CalmPassenger
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	February 19, 2018 9:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7yqe0m/incorporating_kindness_without_niceguyism/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/incorporating-kindness-without-niceguyism.124292 https://theredarchive.com/post/124292

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