How do you detach your emotional state from your partners?

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-01-17T18:07:06+00:00

Keep Your Distance

Most of us can get our heads sorted when we have some dedicated alone time for cooling down and decompressing. When I see my husband seeming exhausted or frustrated, I will ask "hey, would you like thirty minutes to yourself? I'd be happy to watch the kids until bedtime." If I'm feeling really worn out myself, I will still offer but make it clear I'll probably just be supervising the kiddos while the TV does the hard work.

Absolve Yourself of Responsibility

Your partner's problems are not your responsibility to solve. If you feel up to helping out, great! Some winning combos for my husband are kind words/dark bedroom/back scratches, soft music/scented massage oil/back rub, or a quick kiss/matcha tea/staying out of his office. Your husband will likely have his own flavor of relaxation or comfort. Do the gesture, and feel content that you've gone above and beyond. Do not feel compelled to fix every mood (I've heard the term toxic positivity before and it seems like it could be relevant here). We're all going to have our bad days.

Be Compassionate

I remember reading on parenting threads that when their toddlers were throwing epic tantrums, one parent reminded themself "he's not giving me a hard time, he's having a hard time." Anger is the body's way of telling you that something needs to change. We don't always have the luxury of changing our lives, so sometimes our body is screaming at us to change something that our mind is telling us we need to bear. It's confusing. But as the initial flood of overwhelming negative emotion dies down, we regain our senses.

Consider Big Changes, Offer to Help

If the job is consistently an issue, you can take him aside when he's not upset and ask if it would be helpful for you to look for new job opportunities for him. Sometimes when we most need to change our situation, we have the least amount of energy to actually do so. It can be a terrible cycle.

StunningSort3082 · 2024-01-17T18:15:41+00:00

What is he doing to actively manage his stress?

Are there any stressors you can remove? My husband was in a toxic work situation, and he was able to just walk away because I can easily financially support our family. He also had the flexibility to find the right work for him, so he didn’t end up in that situation again.

I know he was incredibly thankful and appreciative that he didn’t have to just stick it out, and knowing he can walk away from a job at any time keeps his stress low (at least outside of tax season lol).

Marissa_Smiles · 2024-01-20T12:29:27+00:00

I think you should just focus on creating the most welcoming enjoyable space and presence for him. My husband isn’t and angry guy but has come home frustrated from work etc before. I’m all smiles and happy to great him, make him a drink, make him laugh, give him a backrub or get him in the mood. Usually doesn’t take much. Is he taking the time to blow off steam? My husband and I are both pretty active and I think it’s the best for reducing stress.

AutoModerator · 2024-01-17T14:26:26+00:00

Title: How do you detach your emotional state from your partners?

Author CharacterOrdinary551

Full text: If you spend a lot of time with your partner, how do you 'be the peace', stay feminine when your man is stressed out or angry at often with work/life stress.

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Title	How do you detach your emotional state from your partners?
Author	CharacterOrdinary551
Upvotes	16
Comments	6
Date	January 17, 2024 2:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/198xqx6/how_do_you_detach_your_emotional_state_from_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-detach-your-emotional-state-from-your.1243200 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243200

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