Advice for a single 26F needing to build up her feminine energy?

AmilliBee · 2024-01-25T17:16:27+00:00

I'd say start accepting help. It's hard, I was raised by a working independent mother who even now supports her husband. However I just started saying yes when men offered their help or service. It's hard at first and I even felt like a burden or I can do this myself. It gets easier with time.
Find hobbies you enjoy (even gaming can be a feminine hobby!) Spend time really being the "main character" in the hobby.
Allow yourself to feel and be vulnerable about it. If something makes you giggle to yourself do it out loud. If you're excited about French fries don't be scared to do a happy little dance. This looks different for everyone so don't feel the need to adapt something that doesn't come natural. Openess is attractive though.
With being open comes building confidence. It can be nerve wrecking expressing yourself openly in public. A way to help be confident is to feel you look your best. Often I think "that was so silly, but at least I'm cute!" It's vain on surface level, but it really does help.

These are the steps I took to try and be more feminine.

Zoe_Rae · 2024-01-25T19:33:28+00:00

Hey girl! 💕

You sound to be in hyper-independence mode and that can sometimes stem from trauma. Also working at a demanding office job + looking after your parents can require a lot of your masculine energy

Im all bout actionable steps, so here is what I would do:

Start seeing a therapist. So many people are held back by their trauma, healing makes you shine and happy. People are drawn to that
Get help with your parents. Outsource, outsource, outsource! Have the time you spend with your parents be quality, not just care taking
Make time for feminine rest and reset: Go to the spa, take a pilates/yoga class, get a hobby and make that time all about YOU!
Listen to people who have succeeded in the life you want. I know people have all sorts of advice for single women but half of it is baloney. I listened to women who are living the hypergamous life + happily married and now I have it. I know this is controversial but I’m not listening to you, if you haven’t had success in what I want.
Discovery your feminine skill sets: What is your feminine archetype? What type of dresses do you look most feminine in? When do you feel feminine? You get me….

Goodluck😘

pieorstrudel5 · 2024-01-25T17:27:31+00:00

Without complaining (because that's not my intention at all), I realize that I'm usually just used to doing things on my own, helping myself when I've needed help, and basically just not expecting anyone to help me in my sad or difficult times - for anything. From the small things, to the bigger things.

Are you a first born/only child? Cause I feel all this.

Unfortunately, I have had to be a caregiver for my mother battling cancer who passed away when I was about your age and then I helped a lot when my aunt was dying of cancer.

Caregiving is inherently feminine - IMO. It's a tough road for sure. You do need a lot of masculine traits to survive it. And you are right, it does make you quite independent.

First, let me say the skills you have acquired make you excellent to run a household. So while it might feel very masculine and independent. Just think of the skills you have now to care for a family and house. You are gonna blow it out of the park!

When I was helping with my aunt, my SO at the time praised me for how proud he was if me. I was helping mostly with my cousin's children. I was schelping them to after school activities, cooking for them, helping them get cleaning tasks done. I was running her home for her while she focused on caring for her mother. I was also there to be an ear for my cousin. Having lost my own mother, I was able to really be there for my cousin. It was a tragic and yet beautifully feminine moment. I barely wore make up, was in sneakers, leggings, and flannel shirts most of the time. But I would be with my SO and he would just praise me and tell me to go relax in the tub. Women holding the family together in a crisis. I can't think of anything more feminine.

So I want you to think of this time of your life as being the full embodiment of being a woman. that mental shift might really help.

Does it make you a little tough and independent? Absolutely. But you can do a lot of self care and mental work to soften the edges.

The trust issues sound like your biggest hang up. You might need a therapist for that.

Hang_your_halo · 2024-01-25T23:40:34+00:00

In addition to all the excellent advice, I want to reiterate self care! Making sure you take time to do things you enjoy on a daily basis does wonders for your mindset and mood. It will help you break out of the go-go-go masculine mode you feel in. Self care and nurturing are very feminine things. By simply slowing down for a few min each day for yourself, you become calmer and happier which will help your femininity.

RedPillDad · 2024-01-26T12:13:49+00:00

Dial up the caring and dial down the confidence and competence.

Confidence - I'm strong and can take charge.
Competence - I'm good at this.
Caring - I'm focused on your well-being.

In my profession I dealt closely with people and quickly realized I had to project those 3 qualities to build trust. Confidence and competence came easy to me, it was the caring I had to emphasize to build trust. Some of the women I worked with were terrific with the caring aspect but didn't project much confidence or competence. As soon as they focused more on those aspects they became more trustworthy.

There's certainly a gender aspect: masculinity oozes confidence and femininity oozes caring. With the polarity of attraction, women tend to be attracted to a man's confidence and men tend to be attracted to a woman's sweetness.

AutoModerator · 2024-01-25T16:29:06+00:00

Title: Advice for a single 26F needing to build up her feminine energy?

Author pertiii

Full text: Hello everyone! For context - I'm a conservative single Latina (26F) - I went to college, and now work a weekly 9-5 office job while living at home with my parents. My parents are near retirement age, and my priority right now is making sure I help them not only with living/medical expenses, but in any way that they may need. Thankfully, I have a job that allows me to help care for them and myself.

I however, now have concerns regarding my dating life. I am realizing that my current lifestyle has me feeling more masculine, in a way. Without complaining (because that's not my intention at all), I realize that I'm usually just used to doing things on my own, helping myself when I've needed help, and basically just not expecting anyone to help me in my sad or difficult times - for anything. From the small things, to the bigger things. I am not very close to my extended family, but I know that I can count on my parents and on my surviving grandmothers for emotional support/care towards me (and I'm so very grateful for them in my life!), but I would not ask them for any help with things that required difficulties like physical labor or money. So, I am used to being my own help. Additionally, I have trust issues and "walls" I've built up since my prior two relationships.

I am now wondering, what can I do to be more feminine in my dating life, and overall in my life?

I go to many social events and on the occasional date - as I eventually would like to get married and have a husband with a "provider" masculine mindset. But I realize this has proven difficult. I have many trust issues created from bad experiences with men and some family members. I've even taken a break from dating because I realize that I need to change my current conditioned mindset, because I myself do not want it. My more "independent" lifestyle, I feel, has caused me to, unintentionally, not accept any help. Even when offered help from a man on dates. In situations as simple as a guy asking if he can help me carry my things, pay for the meal, etc. I have an issue with accepting help because I feel guilty even, that they're offering to pay for our meal, help me carry my things, help me at all etc. I feel bad and can't stop feeling like it's so wrong to accept the help, no matter how small it may be. I feel like a burden when on a date, and not because a date treats me bad at all, but because of my own conditioned mindset.

I know I need to stop thinking the way that I do. Thinking like this, I know I'm not helping myself towards having a family with a wonderful man one day. Please help me - I appreciate any advice anyone could give me on this matter!

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Title	Advice for a single 26F needing to build up her feminine energy?
Author	pertiii
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	January 25, 2024 4:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/19fd9ki/advice_for_a_single_26f_needing_to_build_up_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-for-a-single-26f-needing-to-build-up-her.1243781 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243781

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