My bf is angry at me, what do I do?

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-02-03T13:24:13+00:00

It sounds like you need to learn other people's houses are not your house. I'm surprised he hasn't put his foot down before now. You owe him apologies and changed behavior.

If your home situation is emotionally intolerable, make your own move out plan. If it's physically dangerous, report the matter to the police and go to a shelter.

countrylemon · 2024-02-03T13:36:34+00:00

What are YOU doing to improve your situation? Aside from using him to escape it?

BeauThankles · 2024-02-03T14:14:20+00:00

You need to stop going over uninvited - he has made it very clear to you that he is busy. Please recognize that he has boundaries too, and that you are violating them over and over. You are ignoring his requests, his need to manage his time, his privacy, and his stress levels; I'd imagine this is why he's angry. When someone makes it clear that they want you to leave their house, you leave. I get that your home life isn't great, but this strategy is just kinda spreading the misery, y'know? Work on yourself, girl - maybe pick up a hobby that will get you out of the house, occupy your mind to help stop overthinking, and improve yourself at the same time. Good luck 🤞

PsychoticNurse · 2024-02-03T13:57:23+00:00

You cannot depend on a man to get you out of your horrible home life, that has to come from you. In regards to your bf, personally I think he may have to working to do on himself as well before he dates/marries anyone. A man should clearly state his boundaries without insulting and attacking his girlfriend. Tbh, I would be pissed if anyone showed up at my home unannounced, except for an emergency. But I wouldn't insult them. I don't think your bf is in the right place to date anyone now until he handles what he's trying to do.

But you have to make plans to get out of your home. Plans that do not involve him. Maybe deep down inside you know he's not good for you, but you're using him as an escape. Save up your money and get a studio. Sign up for a roommate service. Rent a room in someone's house. Back off him, give him space, don't text/call/go over there. Let him chase you for once.

Good-Wafer7462 · 2024-02-03T15:25:59+00:00

How do you expect him to get you both out of your situations if you keep interrupting him?

If you want a man who provides you need to give him the space to do so. Leave him alone focus on yourself.

If you have a miserable home life find a refuge that’s not a person, but a place rather. You can go to the coffee shop, with YouTube and a crochet needle and make a hat or something it’s v therapeutic. The time will fly by. Or go to the library and read a book or do a puzzle.

I’d also second what another comment in here which is get yourself out of your own situation. Get a job and rent a room.

Red pill doesn’t mean you can’t take care of yourself, I see it as you prefer to be taken care of by a man. It’s not wise to drown depending on someone to save you when you can learn how to swim.

organicwomen · 2024-02-03T16:05:18+00:00

even my man would be upset if i was showing up unannounced if it wasnt a very serious emergency, try getting a job for a little so you can have a reason to be outside your own house.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-03T09:01:02+00:00

Title: My bf is angry at me, what do I do?

Author PhyllisKepner

Full text: Long story short: My bf has been super busy, trying to help our home situations and himself, he wants to be able to pay the bills, we are both 21 and I’m worried, as I kept going to his door, I’d travel for over one hour to see him, because I had missed him so much and i also didn’t enjoy how things were at home, he has anger issues and cannot talk maturely when he’s angry and he’d say things ‘of course I’m sorry for your home situation but i cannot do anything right now, i can’t move us out’ and he’d also mention how I’m getting in the way of things by going to his door as he’s busy and there’s a reason his phone is shut off as ‘he’s locked in’ and doesn’t want distractions… i always feel like he constantly finds reasons to demonize me, whilst I’m wrong for showing up unannounced his phone is always off.. so if I tell him I’m coming i also have this fear he’ll try to push me out.. So now yesterday, things weren’t great, he really wanted me to go and i was refusing especially as things were horrid in my home life, i desperately want him back as he’s not speaking to me and he said he may talk to me later, I’m very frustrated because he runs away from our problems and he’s pushed my boundaries of insulting me and attacking me, it’s not very masculine.. What do i do for him to message me? I thought about showing up to his house but I’m worried his sister may open the door instead of him..

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Key-Tie2542 · 2024-02-04T13:58:04+00:00

It sounds to me like he's young and immature (and I don't mean this in a disrespectful way). It sounds to me like you want a man who is prepared to take care of you more readily, like have a house available to you all the time and be completely patient and supportive with and of your needs. I doubt there are many 21 year old guys who can do that since they have school and professional training which is stressful and preoccupying. I know I wouldn't have been any different until my 30s.

As much as you love your boyfriend, it doesn't sound like the two of you are compatible with where you are in life or what you need from one another. I am sorry because I think the only good options will involve some pain.

pearlsandstilettos · 2024-02-03T14:11:27+00:00

OP please remember that deleting posts is against the rules. If you continue to do so you will not be allowed to ask advice here.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-03T09:01:03+00:00

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Spiritual-Unit6438 · 2024-02-06T09:34:43+00:00

why the hell are you with this dude? he clearly wants space from you, and doesn’t want you to insert yourself in his issues which in return is naturally unhealthy for the relationship. he also sounds like he has some maturing to do! and please don’t encourage men to be more ‘masculine’. men already struggle enough with feeling not masculine enough which in turn creates the topic of toxic masculinity. there is nothing wrong with not embracing patriarchal masculinity.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-06T09:36:55+00:00

Title: My bf is angry at me, what do I do?

Author PhyllisKepner

Full text: Long story short: My bf has been super busy, trying to help our home situations and himself, he wants to be able to pay the bills, we are both 21 and I’m worried, as I kept going to his door, I’d travel for over one hour to see him, because I had missed him so much and i also didn’t enjoy how things were at home, he has anger issues and cannot talk maturely when he’s angry and he’d say things ‘of course I’m sorry for your home situation but i cannot do anything right now, i can’t move us out’ and he’d also mention how I’m getting in the way of things by going to his door as he’s busy and there’s a reason his phone is shut off as ‘he’s locked in’ and doesn’t want distractions… i always feel like he constantly finds reasons to demonize me, whilst I’m wrong for showing up unannounced his phone is always off.. so if I tell him I’m coming i also have this fear he’ll try to push me out.. So now yesterday, things weren’t great, he really wanted me to go and i was refusing especially as things were horrid in my home life, i desperately want him back as he’s not speaking to me and he said he may talk to me later, I’m very frustrated because he runs away from our problems and he’s pushed my boundaries of insulting me and attacking me, it’s not very masculine.. What do i do for him to message me? I thought about showing up to his house but I’m worried his sister may open the door instead of him..

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-06T09:36:55+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

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You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disapear, it will be removed.
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Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.

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Street_Papaya_1123 · 2024-02-07T03:52:51+00:00

He was probably cheating, there is absolutely no way he just does this if he does not love you with all his heart.

Title	My bf is angry at me, what do I do?
Author	PhyllisKepner
Upvotes	0
Comments	25
Date	February 3, 2024 9:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ahrxrk/my_bf_is_angry_at_me_what_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-bf-is-angry-at-me-what-do-i-do.1244480 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244480

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