Came across this girl on an app (not Tinder), she gave me her number. Would like to hear your thoughts. Do note that this conversation happened over couple of days.
Me: Ever had sex so amazing you forgot your own name? Hi.. I'm.. Uh.. Damn!
Her: Haha. tokyotundra from xyz app
Her: What do you do for a living?
Me: I teach Orgasmic Sciences to cute chicks
Her: So just a cheap flirt then? Your subject is more of an art than science
Her: Also your not so subtle sexual innuendos are not appreciated
Me: ...
Her: Which field of study do you belong to?
Me: Didn't know this was a job interview
Her: Honesty is something I'd really appreciate
Me: How old are you
Her: Why does that matter?
Her: How old are you?
Her: Tell me your secret number and I'll tell you mine. :P
Me: I'm a Vampire, probably 300 and counting
Her: Sigh! I'm 163ish myself. But okay.
Me: That's too old for a girl
Her: 300 is too old for a guy. So?
Me: Age doesn't matter for men
Her: To me it does
Me: ...
Her: ??
Me: You remind me of this girl, adorable like a little puppy but puts up a tough girl act
Her: Lol. Definitely not her. You probably have her number already. So you can check
Me: Where you from
Her: Erebor
Me: Didn't know you are a dwarf
Her: You, Good Sir, are awesome. The number of people who recognize the name are too few
Me: Flattery will get you everywhere with me
Her: Just that I don't wanna go anywhere because practically all you have told me are lies
Me: ?
Her: You cannot be 300/a vampire/prof of orgasmic sciences
Me: Where's the fun in giving serious answers
Her: Yeah, I get it. You had your fun
Me: I didn't even get started
Her: Oh!
Her: So I'm never going to get answers from you?
Me: Women love a man of mystery. Why do you wanna ruin it
Her: Sorry to hear you can paint all the women with same brush. I like straight forward men, so..
Me: I don't know who your boyfriend is, but he's not spanking you enough
Her: I don't keep men. They are a liability
Me: I knew you're into chicks
Her: Nope. I like men, but do not like attachments
Me: Some guy hurt you bad, real bad.
Her: Nah, I cannot be hurt
Me: Guys must be swooning over your tough girl act
Her: Not really
Me: Color me surprised.
Her: Why?? Men never like strong women. They need an airhead without opinions. So they stay away from me.
Me: At this point I got really annoyed and blurted out Every woman is gonna have opinions. The trick lies in not taking them seriously
Her: Oh, I see
I didn't reply after that realizing I fucked up big time with that last text. I know this is a lost cause, but I would like to learn from this fuck up so that I can improve my game the next time.
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