I’m a mid twenties kissless virgin and I feel like I will lose everything good in my life that I’ve worked hard for if I don’t get laid soon.

caesarfecit · 2022-10-22T05:53:30+00:00

Step One: Models, by Mark Manson. This book is truth. I gained more value from this book than almost any other text I've read on the subject. And I've read a lot, including a lot of worthy competitors for the crown, but Models is king.

Step Two: Commit to self-improvement. What you're missing is courage. You find it by going to the places you fear. Get out of your comfort zone in all things. What a lot of men suffer from is they're standouts in one area, and below average in one or two others. Simply having your shit together and a few cool interests outside that is enough to set you apart from a surprisingly large number of guys.

Step Three: Set the bar low. Mark Manson talks about this well. Start with just simple socializing, then a little bit of flirting, then asking for numbers/dates. Gotta learn to crawl before you can learn to walk.

Step Four: Face your demons. Men's undoing with women is the insecurities you bring to the table. It's the unknowns of it all that drive us nuts. Get to the root of your insecurities, make your peace with them, accept yourself as a flawed individual, and maybe one day you'll find yourself in the place where you have nothing to prove to the fairer sex. That's a mountaintop few men get to stand on.

Step Five: Value and pursue experience. Be willing to fail. See rejection as both blessing in disguise and learning experience. This is the pain period of the learning curve where you will fuck up a lot. So long as you don't take stupid risks and keep your head on straight, the only damage will be to your pride.

The ugly truth about losing your virginity is for most guys, it's a numbers game. Sooner or later, so long as you commit to trying to do better, a woman will cross your path who will be willing to make it easy, and God bless them for it. Because what you'll find at the end of the day is that sex is awesome and all that, but nothing really changes when it comes to you. You're still the same guy, just hopefully a little sore and tired. And in time you'll start to learn that sex isn't all that special unless the "who" and "why" factors are there.

A wise woman once said that the people who get laid do so because they intuitively understand that sex appeal is a byproduct of self-esteem, not a cause. Far too many people think it works in reverse. I'm here to tell you it most certainly doesn't.

BlueStool00 · 2022-10-22T05:57:14+00:00

First of all, stop and relax. I know it's hard but you won't achieve anything substantial if you act with desperation and hurry in mind, girls will smell it from a mile away and avoid you like the plague.

Second of all (maybe first) get a therapist. You said you've been abused for two decades and now you need to do hard work on yourself to unfuck yourself, if you're broke see if there are some incentives from your state or similar or at least try to inform yourself about the most important matters by reading some quality content about it, when you get a job or have money make going to a therapist your top priority.

Third. This subreddit is full of great informations, use the search bar to look for tips given to beginner and about inner game, I don't have the time rn to do this for you but it's not really hard to accomplish.

Fourth. Stop watching porn and spanking your meat to it (or at least limit it consistently) and channel your sexual energy into something else, you obviously are not in the position to satisfy your sexual needs and by diverting your attention to something else (hopefully productive like working out) you can give yourself some space to think, a good idea would be to try some social classes like dancing, theatre or similar so that you can be more social and also meet new women (which you should not try to fuck asap unless they're really asking for it)

Good luck

Last tip for online dating, get a tripod and learn how to take your own photos, then post them on photofeeler, good photos are everything

BloodMuffin · 2022-10-22T06:32:34+00:00

Don't get yourself down on age. Dont think about the past its gone, so I guess we can start now.

CityInTheBin · 2022-10-22T05:46:45+00:00

Step one don’t come off as that desperate

throawayvreasons995 · 2022-10-22T05:35:50+00:00

Dude, don’t put all of your worth and value all into losing your virginity, and do lose that attitude soon.

Seeing your hustle to get numbers and get laid, I see you have the mentality to do bigger shit unlike most guys. Fourty-five day cold-approach challenge, that’s some dedication.

The thing is coming from a background such as yours (I do some come from a background as such although a way more supportive and open one, still conservative af though), it does put you at a disadvantage but only temporarily. This shit is a process.

The thing is when entering the game later in life it does seem to be a lot more challenging given the open field as apposed to the closed stadium like high school offers, but that’s fine. It’s all fine, there should be no urgency to get laid now, you are in your 20s ffs, it’s still prime time.

What you should put all your energy into is getting your life set up sorted first, you need to feed yourself before you go on the battlefield. If you cannot fully and financially support yourself yet nor maintain a healthy lifestyle, you current game is good as dead. Also this desperate mentality seeps into your game.

You have hutzpah, hustle, dedication, use it to get a physique, a high paying job, to get high grades, to gain a powerful network, get rich and use it to get happy. Once you reach this moment of your life or are on a trajectory to more successes then settle down and go for a woman and get this side quest sorted.

Your value should never be solely based losing your virginity, it should be based on the succes you bring to yourself and people. Trust me once you reach there, your game will be a 1000 times better and you’ll get everything you want in no time, and yes you’ll definitely lose your virginity.

TLDR, Get your life sorted then hook up!

Amikatey · 2022-10-22T07:10:06+00:00

Dan Bacons advice will help you. Check out that YouTube channel.

2022-10-22T07:52:55+00:00

I want to help you by kissing you, so there will be other people out there who want to assist in this way. You're doing great so far, don't be too hard on yourself.

I hope you have time to do the things that make you happy generally, and when others see you thriving and being content... it will make you very dateable.

creativedave73 · 2022-10-22T06:50:35+00:00

Good for you to leave religion and the abuse behind. Now, who are you? What are you doing that attracts women into your life?

Right now you're very needy and that's a turn off.

What you're projecting: Hi! I'm so desperate for sex. Will you have sex with me?

Where you need to be: I'm doing cool and awesome things. I'm a fun guy.

Women: Can we join in?

Billieclide · 2022-10-22T13:21:47+00:00

Sex is fun and all. But its not every thing. Focus on living your life to the fullest and the rest will fall in line.

All that pick up artist shit is lame..

Your overthinking all of it to the extreme.

throawayvreasons995 · 2022-10-22T05:41:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pusillanimous303 · 2022-10-22T10:36:09+00:00

Before you go and do all the other (some of it very good) advice: find a pro and pay for it. Seriously. You have built it up in your head as this huge thing that you’re willing to throw away the rest of your life for. It isn’t. Sex is great, and it’s just sex. Stop admiring it from afar as this great achievement. It’s easily achieved for a price. Pay the price, stop throwing away the rest of your life for it, take a breath, and then you can read “Models” and work on self improvement.

throawayvreasons995 · 2022-10-22T03:41:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

latecookies · 2022-10-22T13:16:36+00:00

I feel you. I've also grown in a shitty environment as a youngster and it took me a lot of time and experience to change the personality and mindset I have now.

I am also in my mid 20s and I still haven't lost the v card. In my first years of high school I was very open to meeting people. All the girls that kissed me or I was dating for a few weeks really liked me and they were the ones to initiate everything. Then an unfortunate event happened, because I was living in a bad environment, and somehow since than I haven't managed to have a girl or kiss. It's been 6-7 years since then and im on a dry spell.

I can just tell you to get therapy asap. I've had it for the past 1-2 years. it was rough but it helped me realize what is going on. If I compare myself to the person before and after therapy, I can see a very big change. There is something inside you, some trauma that was layered inside you after all these years living in a bad place.

Like you, I was always aiming for grades and better universities. I feel like that would justify my lack of seduction and would make me a more valuable person. But it's not like it will automatically give you pussy if you graduate top of the class. Most importantly you have good education and you are smart. Hobbies and interests are a must when talking and having conversations. That way you are not only a good stud, but a fun person who has "life".

I'm as well in a new city and meeting a lot new people and I am almost always thinking about how to lose my v card whenever I meet a new girl. I literally forgot to date and I am being lost and kinda don't know the next steps. I really wish that I could be more chill about it. I still haven't figure out how to do it, and I need more courage to hit on girls. All I could say is that there are also girls looking for boys as we look for them. I believe that being relaxed will help you ease the situation and the more upset/pushy you are, the more the girls see that and has a negative effect.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-10-22T06:10:41+00:00

What are your social skills like? Do you have a social life with friends where you meet women?

BlueberrySnapple · 2022-10-22T06:23:08+00:00

Read Minimal Game by Aaron Sleazy. The idea in there is so simple but will change your perspective.

throawayvreasons995 · 2022-10-22T07:08:02+00:00

Dating game is getting pretty harsh nowadays, don't get discouraged so easily. I think you need to find appropriate circumstances for yourself. Attend some local events, join your social circle parties, join hobby groups, get some casual job. You need to enjoy your seduction quest. If you feel desperate and depressed, girls will catch it very quickly and back out. Test new kind of approaches, expand your seduction knowledge, work on your hard attractive features and have fun. You will get there soon. Stop being your worst enemy.

Raineko · 2022-10-22T09:28:23+00:00

You can contact an online dating coach and he will create photos and a profile that will get you matches

Comments