When you're cheated on...

boodie1961 · 2018-03-06T19:01:39+00:00

Chances are that there will ALWAYS be somebody taller, richer, younger and generally more handsome. I personally don't think that every woman and every men will always cheat (or swing branch), given the opportunity. The moral standard of the individual is what makes the difference.

joedevice · 2018-03-07T09:36:11+00:00

Combination of things. Could partially be the way you acted, bad sex, lack of frame control.

Could be that you picked a girl who with worse values and more likely to cheat.

Could be just circumstance and someone with the right SMV popped up in the right situation.

Or any combination of the above. Internalising outcome independence and AWALT will help you not be bothered by this.

BeeBopJoe · 2018-03-06T19:47:12+00:00

Its not 100% your fault because you cannot control everything, but its always good to be mindful of red flags and deal with them accordingly. Someone already mentioned a good mosquito analogy, mosquitos are meant to bite people. If you know mosquitos bite then be prepared in dealing with it, that doesn't necessarily mean that you will never get bitten but it will help you avoid the bite.

danoranika · 2018-03-06T18:56:47+00:00

Yes, it is your fault. Lift and build a frame that a woman not only wants to be part of but is afraid of losing.

quicklogaccount · 2018-03-06T19:01:32+00:00

Does this mean that her cheating on you is your fault and you were just too beta to keep her?

Nope. You're not meant to take upon yourself the blame for being hurt by someone or something's nature. Even if it's their nature.
The only catch is, if something's nature will ALWAYS put you in a vulnerable spot, and this thing won't change its nature, it's up to you to take measures to protect yourself.
Mosquitoes will bite you. It's their fault, not yours. But they will bite you, no matter how much you shame or yell at them. They're dicks, but you get screwed, not them.
Although some people claim having as much agency over their nature as mosquitoes have on their, it's not true. They are thoroughly worst people because they let it "just happen". But some women will let it just happen all the time, and most women will let it happen if you go too beta. They'll be worst people, but you're the one getting fucked, so, you're better working on it.

JerryMullin1978 · 2018-03-06T21:41:02+00:00

It’s good to look in the mirror at your actions and improve. However, there’s no need to take responsibility for someone else’s. They could’ve broken up with you.

For example, I had a plate years ago who cheated on every boyfriend she ever had. It had nothing to do with the guy. Yeah, she’s still single.

_Ulan_ · 2018-03-07T13:49:40+00:00

What they mean is "You can be the most delicious apple, sometimes we just want a pineapple." . It is true, there is no miracle recipe. But it is your fault for letting that happen, and it is now your fault for not turning the page quickly.

Title	When you're cheated on...
Author	DipCh
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	March 6, 2018 6:46 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/82hgwb/when_youre_cheated_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/when-youre-cheated-on.125208 https://theredarchive.com/post/125208

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