Should I tell this woman I'm dating about how I have anxiety?

MrSpriteCola · 2022-05-21T19:31:06+00:00

Dude, stop it. Of course not. When I was going through therapy for anxiety, my therapist, who was actually a PhD Psychologist told me that people around me cannot tell most times how anxious my brain is. If you already had multiple dates, your perceived level of anxiety is not stopping these women from continuing to pursue you. It is your need to explain this is the big red flag. You can, however subtly talk about it and laugh it off. "Ooops, my anxiety got the best of me." or something like that.

LORD-THUNDERCUNT · 2022-05-21T19:55:34+00:00

Might aswell tell her you have a micro penis while you’re at it

2022-05-21T20:44:05+00:00

Revealing it will not help you directly to increase your chances with women. But it can help you indirectly, if you do it the right way. Also, it can help you to cure your anxiety over time.

Severe Anxiety is visible to people you interact with. You can come off weird, if they feel something is going on, but you try to cover it up. Then they are confused and will behave odd as well, which will lead you to act even more anxious. By revealing your inner state you stop that downward spiral. You should at least experiment with revealing it, to have the expirience, that nothing too bad happens, if you do. By addressing it you take power away from the anxiety.

Like "Hey I was wondering if you would be interested in a 2nd date? It's okay if you're not. I do sometimes get pretty nervous on dates which I know is offputting."

Don't text about this stuff, address it in person, if you decide do it. You don't call it "anxiety" and don't make a drama about it, just say "I'm really excited to me you". You say it during meeting someone in person not via text

I have erectile dysfunction, and I have a lot of anxiety around intimacy.

The paradox about this situation is that your anxiety about your ED is the bigger problem than the ED itself. Also, the anxiety about the ED is probably what fuels the ED. The more open you will be about it, the more you will drain power from your anxiety. Because it stops being the one big scary and super important thing. A guy, who is able to talk about ED (of course only in the right situation), will overcome it faster and has bigger chances to get rid of it, than a guy, who tensely tries to hide it.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-05-21T20:38:41+00:00

No, and the reason is that you are trying to justify your inadequacy in order to a get her approval, and that’s even more off putting.

It’s like you are secretly hoping, please forgive me give me a chance! Try to overlook this flaw i think i have… When you do that girls tend to be understanding and then friendzone you.

So she is understanding as a friend and that’s it, she pretty much disqualifies you, you stop being a man she would consider dating because insecure and neediness is a turn off, and that’s what you project by saying that.

You: “I wanna have sex with you so please try to look past my flaws, so i can get laid”

That’s how girls interpret when you say stuff like that one you were planning to say

Your flaws at only an issue if you make them an issue and by you saying that, you are making them an issue.

If you know you get nervous and that being nervous can off putting, then you should work on not being nervous.

It’s like if you go to a job interview, and said:

So will you hire me? I know i don’t have much experience which can probably make you look for a more suitable candidate than me”

What do you think would happen? They will agree and now will look indeed for another candidate, because your insecurity would have costed you the job.

It’s not even about your flaws it’s the fact that you aren’t comfortable in your own skin, and are seeking her approval.

Sorry but women before sex and dating a guy are looking mostly for reasons not to date you or sleep with you, and you are just making it easy to disqualify you by giving them those reasons.

PacBoiLar · 2022-05-21T21:05:27+00:00

Not yet

2022-05-21T22:03:03+00:00

No. Next question.

Codi_Banks · 2022-05-21T22:36:39+00:00

Its actually a good long term strategy but not short term. You don't have to stop being anxious and nervous to be in a relationship, plenty of anxious people are dating or married. However you do need to stop beating yourself up for being anxious, stop thinking its a horrible flaw that you need to apologize for, stop thinking it makes you lame or weak. We all have different personalities. Some people are just naturally more neurotic. You need to accept yourself even though you are more jumpy and sensitive compared to others.

If you tell this girl you are nervous you are likely going to make her nervous too which has a good chance of turning her off. However saying out loud that you are nervous, being willing to sacrifice a relationship if it means expressing and accepting who you are, might actually make you less nervous in the long run. Its better to be anxious and laugh about it than be anxious and serious. Not just in relationships but in life in general. Lighten up! Have fun! Be anxious on purpose instead of fighting it. Of course always make an effort to be the person you dream of being but in the meantime love who you are right now! Tell her "yeah if i ever seem awkward just know im kinda a naturally anxious guy lol" and be alright with however she responds. Don't apologize for it or beg her to be ok with it. Just put it out there and own it without shame.

2022-05-22T06:31:35+00:00

Don't show her your insecurity and don't talk low about yourself. You can sincerely mention about your anxiety in proper time and in funny way, but not too much.

Title	Should I tell this woman I'm dating about how I have anxiety?
Author	Everlast23
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	May 21, 2022 7:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uuu23t/should_i_tell_this_woman_im_dating_about_how_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-tell-this-woman-im-dating-about-how-i.1259056 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259056

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