I don't know why, I've been lurking TRP for a few months but it seems am not learning.

I read the sidebar, I've been lifting, I've set goals and am heading towards them, I read No more Mr. Nice guy, book of pook, models by mark manson, but I seem to do shit and then regret them.

Sure doing all of the above is a positive step, I fucked a girl after 3 years of a dry spell, but still I keep doing the same dumb shit with women.

I met a girl in Uni last semester. We seemed to vibe well, I added her on FB and asked her to hang out, she couldn't. I later find out she is in a LDR. I say fuck it.

A few months later she seems to stop when she sees me and comes talk to me, I ask her to hang out, she overslept, she offers to reschedule, I say she cares enough to offer another day. I meet with her, we have a walk and go back to my place, she then goes cold, I couldn't escalate, she was at my place but she acted bored, like she she didn't want to be there.

I post on asktrp, people say soft next, I do it for a few weeks, I cave and text her, not for meeting just some playful banter. She responds fast at first then goes cold.

I stop bothering, after a month I see her down town, we talk for a bit, next day I text her, she responds fast at first, never asks any questions but still, she responds fast and with long texts, I ask her to hang out, she says she's busy this weekend. I say okay let me know if your free sometime next week, she says she will be free next Wednesday.

My friends tell me I shouldn't text her again, It was a mistake, she is an LDR and she never initiated ,but she didn't ignore me I think so I did.

Now I don't know, should i accept meeting with her next week? I failed to escalate once, "ghosted" for a few weeks but I didn't move on.

After all this reading I didn't get it. Should I accept meeting with her? One part of me wants to, to try and redeem my self from not escalating and showing intent properly, another part of me says, she's not interested, she replies and she is being nice sure, just cancel.

I know it's oneitis , and I get nervous that I might fuck up, I most probably will, she probably suggested an alternative day to meet but she doesn't seem to care all that much. Why am I like this? Should I just cancel ? If I do I will be thinking that something could change, what the fuck is wrong with me?

It's like my ego won't let me move on, she showed interest despite being in an LDR, so my ego says I have to make things right. FUCK