improving cold approach? building comfort, rapport, ....

mercush · 2022-03-15T12:07:00+00:00

If you're getting laid you're doing something right, but 1 number out of 10 approaches is not great.

It seems to me you could do better in the initial conversation. Look up one of the common structures for daygame (London Daygame Model for example) on how to do the first couple of minutes of the interaction. Basically you want to do more push-pull, involve more teasing and banter in the conversation, open with an observation and/or assumption about her etc.

If she gives you an answer use it, don't just switch to another topic. Think of a reply to every common answer to a question you get. She's into business, ask if she's a workoholic or also has fun sometimes etc.

If they're startled you're coming on too strong, tone it down.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-03-15T16:03:00+00:00

Sounds like you already know alot about this. I know you are looking for comfort game, so I may be off, but here is another perspective.

From reading your post I noticed it's almost all outter game based. What you say, what you do, following a structure, etc... But, not much was said about building attraction, investment, and then a connection. Or what value you are conveying to these girls.

Is it possible you aren't generating enough attraction so there isn't much investment from these girls? I know you're focused on comfort and longer conversations, but if the girl is neutral to you it could be because you aren't triggering that initial interest.

Are the girls emotionally engaged? Are you making them laugh? Are they having fun talking to you? Are you free flowing in conversations in a fun self-amused way? In other words, are you conveying value to them?

Keep in mind conversations don't need to be logical and linear. If you are having fun and your fundamentals are on point, conversations can be about just about anything.

Julian from rsd used to talk about a "I like you" hook point, and an "I love you" hook point. This has also been called the "Social hook" and then the "Sexual hook". The idea is you get to the first hook where the girl is ok with talking with you. She's polite and you seem ok, so she's going to be nice. It's what most of us would do. The second hook is when you have really conveyed value and she's emotionally engaged and is giving you heavy IOIs. Just something to consider.

Your comfort based game may flow with ease if these girls are more engaged. Perhaps it's the value you are offering that needs work.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-15T16:23:57+00:00

”I’m doing personal manager or distributional stuff”

What you do is ask about how she really truly feels about it, take an interest in whether she is happy with her career path, or whether she would change anything, and to describe the feeling she gets from working at her dream job if that is indeed her dream job, or what her dream job and work-life balance would look like if she could choose.

In other words, you need to get into personal territory, not just stay in the surface of finding out what her job is, and then completely changing topics because you don’t give a shit.

Like you are not supposed to be interested in the technicalities of her job, you want to get to know how she feels about her job regardless of what job it is even if you know nothing about it.

Her frustrations about her job, the things that motivate her to wake up in the morning to go that job, her motivation to keep doing it despite all the hardships she might encounter, whether she just works for money or because she feels she helps someone.

That tells you about her character and allows for more interesting conversation.

Smitty-TBR2430 · 2022-03-15T12:43:29+00:00

Suggestions: * I have never let an approach go over 5 minutes or so. I’m busy, she’s busy, our time is valuable. Save the long conversation for a date… later. * The goal isn’t her phone number; the goal is seeing her again. Depending on the situation I’m immediately asking her to meet later that day or the next day. If she’s interested, the phone number / contact information will come. * There will be that percentage of women who genuinely are married / engaged / in a committed relationship. Don’t lose sleep over the “I’ve got a BF” line. Maybe it’s a line, Maybe not. Only once in my years did I get that line, gave the gal my business card anyway, & she called me 4 days later. Fucked her brains out for almost a year.

Title	improving cold approach? building comfort, rapport, ....
Author	max_samhain
Upvotes	5
Comments	14
Date	March 15, 2022 11:54 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ten8np/improving_cold_approach_building_comfort_rapport/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/improving-cold-approach-building-comfort-rapport.1264524 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264524

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