How To Respond to "Just Got Out Of Relationship"

ghosts_of_me · 2018-03-31T11:59:21+00:00

Proceed as you would if she didnt say that. Then if shes still a stone wall then next.

anonanonetc · 2018-03-31T12:01:18+00:00

It’s anti-slut defense.

UEMcGill · 2018-03-31T16:08:17+00:00

"I'm a little offended. Do you think I'm some sort of player?"

Pressure flip. Make her qualify herself to you.

[deleted] · 2018-03-31T15:55:33+00:00

This could literally go either way. She could mean exactly what she’s says or she doesn’t. You won’t know unless you hang out and escalate. Ask yourself though, “Is she worth your time even as a friend?” If not, go hang with another girl.

DestributedCrowBot · 2018-03-31T12:46:37+00:00

"So let's go hang out. I don't even know anything about you. Maybe friends is all we should be. Let's just grab a drinks tomorrow evening to find out. 7pm at XYZ work for you?"

melonsle · 2018-03-31T13:04:43+00:00

If you want to live in the real world, you are going to have to start believing what other people tell you.

Even you, as God-like as you are, trying to form relationships with total strangers and then posting on forums about it - even you have to listen to the feedback that other humans give you about themselves. If you want to understand what is happening in the so-called real world.

This woman knows herself way better than you do, and she's giving you an important clue to whats going on with her. You think you don't have to listen to it, you think you know better.

she hits me with this cheese.

Why is it cheese? Because it wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear? Because you think you understand a woman's mind more deeply than the actual woman herself, and so you can go above her feedback because its not worth taking seriously?

Her feedback to you is the most serious thing in this thread. It actually describes something about the reality in which we live: it describes her current emotional landscape. The rest of this thread is the noise being made as this fact rattles around in your brain, while you flirt with wether or not you'll deign to accept that water is wet and that you stop on red and go forward on green.

Hmm, am I going to live in reality today, or can I dream up something better?

OK, that's my slapping hand done with you. Now I'll speak more kindly, since we were all young once.

Am I right or whats your insight/ideas on this guys?

My insight is that this: "just looking to make a friend" is a really true statement about her inner world. I think if you proceed, its likely that you will only re-verify the truth of this statement about her world. She really is just looking for a friend. Assume people mean what they say, to do otherwise is acting in bad faith.

Women really can be excited about getting to know you. Its possible. I know my words are harsh, and astringent, but I am bringing you closer to the possibility of actually getting a woman in your arms, than your own fake-it-till-you-make-it, push-past-boundaries wisdom will bring you. This woman has already friendzoned you, please, believe her words. Go for interested women. Wait for the look in her eye that says "I want you". It can happen. It will happen. Game will generally speaking not be necessary if you find that woman. You will not be posting much on here, if you follow that advice. Rather you will be gaining the experience you crave and realizing some of your personal fantasies.

Good luck.

Kalepsis · 2018-03-31T19:54:16+00:00

"Me, too. Wanna rebound together?"

stoplosingatlife · 2018-03-31T20:26:50+00:00

don't act like you care too much, just ask her why it ended. Caring about womens sob stories is how they play you. same with when "niceguys" are like "You're beautiful" and their like "no I'm not". what I say in this scenario is either "okay" or I roll my eyes and go "mhhmmm" and maybe yawn. although I'm kind of questioning the validity of telling them their beautiful at all. I try to keep it to one time when I first meet them. then never again unless it's backhanded.

cl3537 · 2018-04-01T13:06:54+00:00

When you get a text like that it might be 'friend zone' but it also might also be ASD. You just don't know.

I got a text like that recently and I just cancelled the date, she wasn't very responsive on text when I was setting up the date so I assumed it was more likely this was a poor prospect.

It could just as easily have been a women who needed a little more comfort but was interested and attracted I will never know. If you want to keep the prospect just answer in a playful manner and ignore the comment.

"Sure friend, first Round is on you" "Sure friend, did you already pick out a cute outfit to wear tonight?"

If she does agree to come out with you just be flirty and verbally escalate and calibrate her responses carefully. Don't act like a friend and you won't be put in the friend zone.

Title	How To Respond to "Just Got Out Of Relationship"
Author	Red_Saman
Upvotes	13
Comments	27
Date	March 31, 2018 11:34 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/88i2r2/how_to_respond_to_just_got_out_of_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-respond-to-just-got-out-of-relationship.126863 https://theredarchive.com/post/126863

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