Preface/Context

So this past year and half has been tough for me. Until recently I've been isolating from Covid (not here to debate the merits of that, it's just what I chose to do). Even before Covid, I was already struggling with some post college depression and weight gain, which Covid really exacerbated the effects of. I'm 5'9 275 lbs and have struggled to make progress towards any of my major goals. I'm aware that weight loss & career development needs to be the focus of my life, not cold approach, but on a rare off day from work I wanted to switch things up to try to get the ball rolling on my self improvement so I decided to drive down to my old college campus for the afternoon and study there, and maybe find some time for cold approach too.

And after 3.5 hours or so it was going awful. I had studied maybe 1 chapter of my professional exam textbook and I had done one weak cold approach that consisted of borrowing a pen from a girl and complimenting her sweater. I also felt really creepy just walking around my old college campus looking for girls to talk to. I wondered at this point why I was even wasting time with cold approach, because who would give someone in my physical condition who hasn't been taking care of himself the time of day.

But again, I've been dealing with a lot of loneliness since Covid started, so I really wanted to take advantage of my day off, so I forced myself to drive to the other side of campus and park there and go to do some more studying and approaching.

Approach Starts

I was walking around the library trying to find a spot to study and I saw this really cute girl. But I kinda hovered for a minute and I thought it would be so obvious I'm trying to hit on her if I sit right next to her when there's so many other places open, but even then I forced myself to just sit down at the desk beside her.

I asked her to borrow a pen (kinda a wimpy opener, but I'm just trying to ease back into this after 19 months away). She let me and I tried to strike up a convo with her about what she was studying, but the convo never hooked (she wasn't asking me any questions about me). So, I decided to just actually do some studying for close to an hour. I kinda thought she must've been weirded out by me a bit at this point, I had orbited around her for a minute before taking the spot next to her when there were clearly other open spaces, and she wasn't really enthusiastic when I tried to start the convo.

So, I was surprised when 30 minutes later she asked me to watch her stuff while she went to the bathroom (lmao this an opener I use to start convos with girls in the library). That's nothing you'd entrust to a guy you thought was weird and annoying, so instsntly I felt like I had another chance. When she comes back I give her the pen back, and remark that she seems kinda tired from studying. From there, a great convo about a lot of different topics started. She wasn't even weirded out that I was an alumni who graduated two years ago just chilling in the campus library (I explained why I chose to use it well). Eventually I get her number with the idea of taking her to a food spot in town she hasn't been yet over the weekend.

Here's where this approach suddenly made me really happy and reminded me why I love cold approach. I told this girl I view myself as a big time introvert, and she was kinda in disbelief and called me the most extroverted and confident person she's met on campus. That just blew my mind. I, this 25 year old 275 lb depressed and not very successful guy just chatted up a really cute 21 year old college girl, got her number, and has her call me extroverted and confident. This is what I love about cold approach, each time you talk to a new girl, it's a blank slate. If this girl was friends with my friend group she'd see me as this really shy and kinda awkward dude who only seems to be able to connect to people about music and board games. But instead, I got to be this incredibly confident and charismatic person in our interaction, and that's the man she views me as. It's a fresh start every approach.

Do I think she'll actually go out with me? Eh probably not. Tbh I think I lingered a bit too long after getting the number, and maybe was uncalibrated in asking her to take a walk outside when she had a paper due. At the end of the convo she also walked back the idea of doing something this weekend, and pitched next weekend, which usually isn't a great thing. And honestly, throughout it was a very friendly vibe, more so than a romantic vibe. But tbh, I don't really care. The whole 6 hours of going to campus to cold approach and study was validated by simply the confidence instilled in me by knowing that my 275 lb self can confidently chat up a cute college girl and leave her with such a glowing impression of me. That alone is priceless to me and will be so motivating as I try to lose weight and improve my career. If loser me can do this, winner me is going to have such a great dating life. If she texts back and meets up with me, amazing. If she doesn't, I'll always have that nice confidence boost to help motivate me as I try to become a better man. (But I do hope she texts me back, I haven't been on a date since 2019).