So last night I decided to run some bars by myself for the first time. I was planning on bringing a friend since I felt super anxious about going out on my own. I was worried I'd be standing around by myself awkwardly since I've only gone out with a group or to a party where I knew the hosts. I went anyway and told myself that I'd be scouting out some of the bars in my town for the first time and that's all I need to do, it can help prepare me for the next time I go out, especially with a group.

When I got to the bar I started cold approaching some of the guys there to make some buddies and warm up since it felt less intimidating to introduce myself to guys than girls. I interacted with around 13 women give or take in the bar area and the dance floor.

I'll start with the dance floor. The music was great and there were a ton of people there, but nobody was really dancing, just hanging out with their friends and shuffling around a bit. I'm really energetic, and even though I don't really know how to dance, I just busted out some foot shuffles and jumped in the center of the ring and people seemed really impressed to the point that some girls mentioned that they talked about me with their friends. I took the initiative and offered my hand to 5 or so girls to dance, and some took my hand but they didn't really dance much and left with their friends. I'm not too sure how to escalate on the dance floor since I've never gotten that far, but it seems like my energy works in my favor and I can learn how to manage that. I also tried seeing if anyone is looking at me to make eye contact, but that didn't really seem to work out.

In the bar area, I approached around 6 girls and I tried to strike up a conversation but kind of struggled there. I had a hard time building rapport and getting past the "where you from/what do you do" stage to emotional topics. I also noticed that a ton of girls were with their boyfriends, and most girls were in groups as well, some of which seemed kind of standoffish. The conversations didn't go very far and I got hit with the "I'm going to the bathroom/find my friends" lines a lot. I also introduced myself to some girls who were in a group I approached but again, it didn't seem to go very far. I did meet a random dude who ended up roping in two girls, but he was incredibly cringey and pretty much only complained about not being able to get a job or interview. Needless to say, the girls excused themselves pretty soon and I learned not to try to wing with a guy you don't know.

In any case, I feel that I made a ton of progress last night even though I didn't successfully get a number or bring anyone home. I still have a lot to learn on that regard. But I've scouted out a new area, overcame my anxiety about going out alone, and managed to bring a ton of energy. I also think I've figured out some areas I need to improve. Firstly, after I ask a girl to dance, how should I escalate there? Given that I took her hand the touch barrier is broken, so in that case should I try to bring my hands on her hips? Secondly, how should I build rapport and escalate in bar conversations? I understand that a bar convo is going to be different from a day time cold approach in that you can probably be a lot more forward, but I'm not sure how to get unstuck in the "interview" stage or to think of something to say in awkward silences. I'm trying to do some cold reads but that was my first time attempting it and I'm not quite adept at finding cold read comments for each individual.