No matter what you do, a good portion of women will not find you appealing, and will be ambivalent towards you, turned off by you. You can be well groomed, adopt powerful body language, be successful in your career, be charming. Sometimes you just don’t align with what they find attractive, the same way a large percentage of females don’t appeal to you. Why do we expect different rules when it comes how women perceive us?

You shouldn’t go into a social situation expecting rejection, always put yourself out there, but fun, lighthearted, charming. However, be realistic as well. You cannot force long-term attraction with lines, cockiness, or what you wear.

If a woman doesn’t find you attractive, remember there are other factors at play:

Her childhood: Our childhoods play a huge factor in how we interact as adults, and also who we’re attracted to. She may had a father figure or male I her life that shaped the archetype of what makes her feel safe, and you may not fit that archetype.

Genetics: Do you find certain characteristics in people attractive, without any particular rhyme or reason? Being in shape and well groomed is extremely important and is the most impactful outward change that will increase your chances. But at the end of the day, she will still have innate features that she is drawn to, and you may not fit that.

Circumstance and timing: Do you sometimes just want to chill and relax with you friends, and not even worry about the other sex? Well guess what, they do too. In our ego we want to believe that we can charm a woman, make her want to look for the one when she’s not ready. Sometimes she’s just not in the fucking mood. She also might be going through a tough time at work, with family, or having issues with anxiety. As men we often put women on a pedestal and forget they are human being with a problems like us.

Social circle: Mark Manson refers to this as demographics in Models, and is a bigger factor that we realize. Don’t get me wrong, a cute metal head girl can be attracted to a clean cut guy, but often times, if a guy (or girl) doesn’t fit into someone’s social lifestyle, it can be an obstacle.

Next time you encounter rejection or ambivalence from someone, remember you are not the sole factor in why she reacted the way she did. This also isn’t an excuse for complacency, how you present yourself is a huge factor, but there often other things at play, and you shouldn’t take rejection personally.