This seems like such a specific problem that I'm curious if anyone here even knows what I'm talking about.

When I first meet people incidentally, like maybe at a barbecue or neighbors at a resort, being a generally fun and social person I often hit it off with them as there are no ideas of romance or pressure, just enjoying someone's company. It's easy to be myself in this scenario.

If they happen to be an attractive girl where I realize I'm kinda interested in her and enjoyed her sense of humor and made her laugh, I often have anxiety if I run into her again. And when it happens, I'm often not this higher energy fun guy because I'm too far in my mind. A good cringe example is running into her a few days later in an elevator where I'm so flaccid that I wonder if she thinks I'm the boring identical twin of the guy that was cracking her up three days ago.

(The rest of this post isn't important)

More specific example just for the catharsis:

I'm living on a beach right now to get over a long term relationship that recently ended where, just today, I was frustrated to remember that I still have this issue I've had since I was a teenager.

Few nights ago, I was working on my laptop at the hostel common area where I overheard some cute girls speaking Argentine Spanish, so I found it fun to interject that they had to be Argentines with the phrases they were using, they laughed since it was so obvious, we spoke in Spanish, they knew I learned my Spanish from Mexico and poked some fun back at me, we had some fun chit chat, and I had to turn back to work so they could go back to their room.

Today, I was returning to the hostel when I saw one of them waiting at the gate because she forgot her keys. I immediately went in my head and it's like I drew a blank on how to even be human. She asked me a few questions about what I had just been up to on the beach, the only thing in response I could think of was "no" and "no" to her guesses. I let her in. Then I quickly scuttled to my room, a pair of ragged claws.

Of course, as soon as I find myself in the privacy of my room, Mr. Fun Guy finally takes the steering wheel back and I think of all the fun ways I could've played that interaction instead just channeling the social skills of me at 14.

I want to laugh it off. But on the other hand, it feels like I'm not congruent with who I actually am from day to day due to this anxiety. To be fair to myself though, maybe I just need a little mental preparation and I just don't do the best when I'm caught off guard. I certainly fare much better if I were meeting someone at a bar or something.

Curious if anyone knows what I'm talking about and if they've dealt with it. I definitely am someone with quite a high level of background anxiety as I walk through life, maybe this is just part of the deal.