How would you deal with the question of who’s paying for dinner on a date?

900_year_old_vampire · 2018-04-24T23:56:46+00:00

bring enough to pay for whatever, just in case. but its pretty safe to assume they are going to pay for their half. 9/10 times, they are going to. it doesnt even need to be discussed. "its 2018 im a strong independent WOMAN" and all that, working in our favor for once. if it turns out she didnt bring cash no big deal, you can cover it and she can buy next time. nothin mood ruining about that.. other than the fact that you are literally taking women you havent slept with yet on dinner dates.

the energy you want to project is: i aint stressed about money.. but if i look like a meal ticket, you've got me all wrong woman and i dont find it very attractive. not the end of the world, just fucking very unattractive.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-04-25T00:21:33+00:00

Never have dinner on the first date, or even the second date.

After that I find my SMV is enough that I can just pay for whatever we do that day, and then she'll pay for dinner, or she'll get the next one.

Last week I took a girl for a drive to zoo, and I paid, and afterwards we went to get food and she said while we were eating dessert that she was paying for it.

It's not something I am really bothered about. I don't make a big thing about paying, I just shrug and give the impression I don't care and I'm paying for convenience. Sometimes I tease that they'll get the next one.

I don't view paying as a beta move at all unless you're gushing to pay like a chump. I invited them out most of the time so I'll just cover it. I earn a decent amount though so it's inconsequential money-wise. If you're a broke student or whatever maybe ignore my advice.

ProMathlete · 2018-04-25T00:56:29+00:00

I only pay for the whole date if she's a submissive person. Current plate calls me daddy. I want that.

Otherwise when the check comes I just say "you good to go dutch?" Or "50/50?"

I only had ONE date that ever refused and I got a blowjob from her later. A pretty good one. Then ghosted.

AllRealsAndNoFeels · 2018-04-25T19:32:20+00:00

Not only can dinner get costly--like when she conveniently forgets her wallet or absolutely refuses to split the bill--but there are chances of shit going all kinds of wrong. The food could give one or both of you gas or food poisoning; her food doesn't please her, and she makes sure to ruin your night for it as well; one or both of you overeat and feel too full to fuck later on. Restaurants can either be too busy and loud to effectively talk your game, or too quiet and everyone will hear the shit that comes out of your mouth (you might not give a fuck, but she'll certainly be worried about what other people may think about her and her responses). Maybe she flakes out at the last minute, and you're left standing at a restaurant that you didn't want to be at in the first place, to eat a meal that you could've done without?

There's also the chance that she's just looking for some excitement and a free meal. It's not just a TRP inside joke. It happens, and I've been the guy who gets left-over steak and a blowjob after a fuck-buddy has a dinner date with a boring, prospective suitor. Don't be the guy who buys surf-and-turf for some woman's fuck-buddy.

Instead, think of something that you'd want to do yourself, that a woman could join you for--and something that'll let you touch her and talk to her. I like to take girls mini-golfing. Tickets are cheap, and most women are fine with buying their own beer, given that it's a more casual vibe than high-end drinks are. The joint near me is open late on the weekends, so you can putt-putt under the stars and help set the mood. You can fuck around and have a good time; you can laugh and joke. Some places will let you drink, and you even have great excuses to touch her. ("Hey, doll. Let me stand behind you, put my hands on yours, grind on your ass a little while I teach you to wiggle your hips like the pros do, and softly whisper these instructions into your ear. I'm gonna show you how Jack Nicklaus nailed this 'down-the-tube-and-through-the-clown's-asshole' shot. If you're impressed with my ability to put balls in assholes, have another drink and follow me home.")

You're also likely to be the beefcakiest of beefcakes on the course, so--in her eyes--you're the manliest motherfucker in the neighborhood. Given the chances that it'll just be the two of you--or other couples who are stealing my gig--she won't feel the need to be so reserved and worry about tarnishing her reputation in front of a crowd of people that she may know or bump into again. And if she flakes out while I'm waiting for her to show up? Then I'm gonna drink and putt balls through a clown's asshole, and invite the cashier to join me on my quest to set a personal record.

That's just one example. Whatever you decide to do, don't worry about what she'll think about it. So long as you're at least somewhat attractive, you're the most exciting thing that's happened to her all week.

abdada · 2018-04-24T23:48:22+00:00

I don't do dates that cost money until she's cooked for me at least 2 or 3 times.

Which usually means like 3 or 4 months in.

BurnieSlander · 2018-04-25T00:51:24+00:00

Tell her you’ll pick out dinner if she picks out dessert... innuendo being that she could be dessert.

[deleted] · 2018-04-25T02:40:40+00:00

I pay as a reward for being pleasant and considerate. I hate women who act entitled so if I get that vibe from you I'm not paying. But a woman who is considerate will usually offer and in that instance take the bill; however, I'm not arguing over the check. If she insists then I'll let her have it.

MattyAnon · 2018-04-25T13:38:00+00:00

Don't take a girl for dinner on an early date.

Tell her BEFORE THE DATE that you expect her to pay half. If she isn't fine with this, either don't go, or go and pay.

It's dumb as fuck that women demand equality when it suits them, then expect men to pay for their company, but this is reality. And you deal with it by telling her what you expect. If she's not fine with that, she might not be the girl for you.

Self-honest · 2018-04-25T14:00:05+00:00

Whatever it is, just look the girl in the eyes while telling the the server, bartender, cashier, etc "split it" or "seperate".

SudenUni · 2018-04-25T14:52:43+00:00

Whether its dinner or you just go out for drinks with a bitch you're not fucking, everybody pays for what they ate/drank. If you get a coffee and she gets a 100$ drink, you pay for your coffee and that is it.

If she comes up with some bullshit excuse that she doesnt have money, get up, pay your share and leave her there. She can wash dishes to pay for her drink for all you care. You dont owe the bitch anything.

Title	How would you deal with the question of who’s paying for dinner on a date?
Author	johnny-jd
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	April 24, 2018 11:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8eoz6x/how_would_you_deal_with_the_question_of_whos/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-would-you-deal-with-the-question-of-whos.128809 https://theredarchive.com/post/128809

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