Newb here, require help

philosarapter · 2010-08-10T14:30:08+00:00

Approach is easy.

have a cover story. If the girl is at the bar ordering a drink, well thats good because you just so happen to be on your way to order a drink. Never go in there with the expressed intent of hitting on her. Make her a pitstop along the way of you actually doing something. This gives you a more comfortable eject in case things get weird.
Don't linger. If the girl has lost interest or is giving clear cues she does not want you around, don't stand around them saying nothing or looking around. Its awkward for both of you... just carry on with your day. As soon as it goes sour, simply say "It was nice meeting you, goodbye." or something similar.
Have a legitimate reason to talk to them outside of hitting on them. Since your a tourist it should be pretty easy. Ask them where certain things are (even if you know where they are), tell them you are lost or that you are looking for a great nightclub in the area. Openers are normally questions you would ask a stranger, getting an opinion or just asking for help.
If they seem open and friendly (and english speaking in your case), the first topic of conversation that you can easily smooth into is the differences in cultures between your country and theres. This is the easiest topic for you both. Just be confident, talk slowly, make eye contact (don't look at your feet) and speak loudly and clearly. You'd be surprised how far a good deep solid speaking voice goes for getting women. [In fact, I'd recommend your first step in all of this is to take some time to practice your voice. Make sure you don't mumble and you are clearly understood and heard by everyone you are talking to.]
She may find it exotic that you are from another country, girls out at the bars often look for guys they never have to see again to do things with. Look for IOIs. If shes smiling and keeping a conversation up with you (she is contributing as much to the conversation as you are.) chances are she atleast finds you attractive. If she makes physical contact with you, thats another.
Flirt with her. Joke about how she is going to get you in trouble. Compliment her dimples. Try to keep a straight face as much as you can, smirking occassionally. Make sure you keep her interested, laughing and attracted.
Take a moment now to consider the word "attraction", think magnets, that is how you want to be with women. You don't want to force yourself on them or shy away from them, you don't push them into doing things, you pull them into doing things with you. this rope you use to pull them is elastic. Sometimes they are going to pull back... don't let them win the game of tug o war... and at the same time you need to keep the rope's tension so that there is still a pull. You'll give quick tugs ("you want me") and she'll tug back ("no, you totally want me.") you respond ("nuh uh, look at you, you are so into me."), etc. Back and forth until the tension becomes so great, you give a big pull and she flies right into your arms (kiss)

And most of all remember: you're there to have fun, fun is your #1 priority, women are just a way to grant you some of that fun. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and just have fun. You may not get it at first, but keep at it. Its a numbers game.

RedErin · 2010-08-10T13:42:11+00:00

Cool username. I recommend doing more reading here on Seddit. Your question is answered here all the time.

My guess is that you're having a lot of anxiety when you think about approaching a woman. The only way to get rid of that anxiety is to fight through it and approach lots of people. Eventually the fear will fade.

Just start reading here and you will get some great tips.

2010-08-10T13:53:39+00:00

I read somewhere on a link from here that it is much harder for guys to get with girls the less fluent they are in the girls language but I don't know how true that is but it certainly wouldn't hurt to practice some game.

Remember, these are people you most likely won't ever see again. Don't worry about being rejected

You can use the fact that you are from a foreign country to introduce yourself to these girls.

"Hey, I'm from blah blah and I'm looking for something fun to do. What do you like to do that is really fun/really cool place to hang out around here?"

If they don't understand you who cares, move on

If they do understand you and/or they find your accent sexy, you have them talking about what they do and you can game them from there.

good luck!

Chances · 2010-08-10T18:31:43+00:00

the man's name is smallpenis

philosopharaptor · 2010-08-10T15:29:17+00:00

Approach is easy.

have a cover story. If the girl is at the bar ordering a drink, well thats good because you just so happen to be on your way to order a drink. Never go in there with the expressed intent of hitting on her. Make her a pitstop along the way of you actually doing something. This gives you a more comfortable eject in case things get weird.
Don't linger. If the girl has lost interest or is giving clear cues she does not want you around, don't stand around them saying nothing or looking around. Its awkward for both of you... just carry on with your day. As soon as it goes sour, simply say "It was nice meeting you, goodbye." or something similar.
Have a legitimate reason to talk to them outside of hitting on them. Since your a tourist it should be pretty easy. Ask them where certain things are (even if you know where they are), tell them you are lost or that you are looking for a great nightclub in the area. Openers are normally questions you would ask a stranger, getting an opinion or just asking for help.
If they seem open and friendly (and english speaking in your case), the first topic of conversation that you can easily smooth into is the differences in cultures between your country and theres. This is the easiest topic for you both. Just be confident, talk slowly, make eye contact (don't look at your feet) and speak loudly and clearly. You'd be surprised how far a good deep solid speaking voice goes for getting women. [In fact, I'd recommend your first step in all of this is to take some time to practice your voice. Make sure you don't mumble and you are clearly understood and heard by everyone you are talking to.]
She may find it exotic that you are from another country, girls out at the bars often look for guys they never have to see again to do things with. Look for IOIs. If shes smiling and keeping a conversation up with you (she is contributing as much to the conversation as you are.) chances are she atleast finds you attractive. If she makes physical contact with you, thats another.
Flirt with her. Joke about how she is going to get you in trouble. Compliment her dimples. Try to keep a straight face as much as you can, smirking occassionally. Make sure you keep her interested, laughing and attracted.
Take a moment now to consider the word "attraction", think magnets, that is how you want to be with women. You don't want to force yourself on them or shy away from them, you don't push them into doing things, you pull them into doing things with you. this rope you use to pull them is elastic. Sometimes they are going to pull back... don't let them win the game of tug o war... and at the same time you need to keep the rope's tension so that there is still a pull. You'll give quick tugs ("you want me") and she'll tug back ("no, you totally want me.") you respond ("nuh uh, look at you, you are so into me."), etc. Back and forth until the tension becomes so great, you give a big pull and she flies right into your arms (kiss)

And most of all remember: you're there to have fun, fun is your #1 priority, women are just a way to grant you some of that fun. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and just have fun. You may not get it at first, but keep at it. Its a numbers game.

Title	Newb here, require help
Author	smallpenis
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	August 10, 2010 1:35 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/czhkt/newb_here_require_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/newb-here-require-help.1289044 https://theredarchive.com/post/1289044

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