How do I overcome my fear of meeting girls?

puaCurveBall · 2011-09-14T05:04:12+00:00

My favorite two theories are:

Take is slow method, you first go out and smile. Next day, you say "hi". Then ask for directions or the time, then try to start a conversation, etc etc.
The balls out I'm taking the plunge and diving in the deep end way.

Convince yourself you are going to go talk to women, get an opener from here, and just do it. Tell yourself you are an actor, go to an area you don't normally goto and tell yourself that whatever happens today doesn't count and no one will remember. Tell yourself that you accept the pain, awkwardness, being uncomfortable, but that you will suffer through it because you have a goal.

Once you have decided to embrace the fear and just will yourself through it anyway, and it actually happens, you'll find it was nothing like your fear and will learn to become ok with it.

This is my favorite option personally, but it takes some willpower and self-deception to work.

Kino_PuA · 2011-09-14T04:30:28+00:00

/r/100set

gogogo and make it a mission!

eablokker · 2011-09-14T05:12:42+00:00

One way is to overcome it by progressive desensitization. Pick a goal that is challenging for you, but not too hard, like maybe just smiling at girls, or saying "hi" to girls. When you get so used to that, that it becomes boring, then move on to starting light conversation with girls, and then move on from there. Go in small increments.

Another way is by using mental techniques like self-hypnosis, visualization, and cognitive behavioral therapy.

One gem of advice I've heard recently is that you MUST pursue more than one woman at the same time. Then, if one woman rejects you, then it doesn't sting as much because you know you have other girls you are working on. Don't try to pursue just one girl at a time. It takes too much time, you get too much invested, and when it doesn't work out you have to start all over again from scratch. It's exhausting!

2011-09-14T16:10:48+00:00

You have to approach a lot of people. Then to actually get women, you have to understand how awesome you are (through self discovery) and that their opinion of you is not at all important. You provide a good time and are sharing those good times with them. The sooner you learn and beleive this, the faster you will become successful with women. It's a tough road buddy.

sillymallard · 2011-09-14T16:56:38+00:00

My personal AFC steps:

Step one: Say hi to everyone on the street. The first few may look at you weird or ignore you, but eventually someone will say hi. Keep doing this until you learn to reduce the number of bad reactions as much as possible.
Step two: Have 10-20 second conversations with people who are paid to talk to you such as sales clerks and baristas.
Step three: Say hi and start conversations with older people, especially older women. Grandmas and moms love to talk to young lads.
Step four: Talk to random younger guys. Learn how to establish genuine male friendship.
Step five: Talk to random younger mixed sets. Talk to the guys first using what you learned in step four. Introduce yourself or have the guys introduce you to the girls.
Step six: Talk to girls by themselves.

I'm currently stuck between steps five and six. When I'm feeling particularly down, I sometimes go back a couple steps; just saying hi to people or starting conversations with old people to remind myself that I'm awesome.

EDIT: I just did this today, walking to and from the gym. Made 15/19 positive impressions. It's definitely harder the hotter and younger they are.

idomiralin · 2011-09-14T17:21:36+00:00

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RedErin · 2011-09-14T14:33:21+00:00

Yup, seddit was made for guys like you. I know exactly what you're going through. Hang out here for a while, do some reading, and soon you'll be ready to do the hard work to break yourself out of your social awkwardness.

Title	How do I overcome my fear of meeting girls?
Author	FlamingGoof
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	September 14, 2011 3:37 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kezbl/how_do_i_overcome_my_fear_of_meeting_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-overcome-my-fear-of-meeting-girls.1292533 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292533

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