I wanted to write a post about what I feel is important after you experience a failure. Whether you are a ladies' man who gets laid every night or a struggling nice guy trying to get his first kiss, you're going to encounter a situation where shit just doesn't work out. What should you do once it's over and done with?

  • Feel! It sucks when things don't work out, no matter what your goal is. So go ahead and grieve. It might be grumbling over a drink with your friends or just being alone to cry it out. Do whatever you need to first release the emotional tension from the situation.

  • Reflect! Remember how events unfolded and try to look at them as objectively as possible. I guarantee you have just as much reason for it not working as the other party, so don't jump to blaming someone else. You're either the dumbass who caused it, you were both dumbasses or you are the dumbass who put up with their shit. No matter what, you have some responsibility. Find out what that is.

  • Learn! Once you've identified all the major causes, think about what you can do to not repeat those same mistakes. What do you need to work on, what are your weaknesses, what were your strengths. What would you have done differently. Be brutally honest with yourself and your own shortcomings, so that you can learn from the experience.

It's tricky to do it right because it's easy to fall into the self-pity trap or wallowing over what could have been. However, it's important if you are serious about improving yourself.