How do I get rid of the fear of talking to girls?

2014-03-20T00:25:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

watermelons666 · 2014-03-19T23:50:30+00:00

This used to hold me back so much. I feel you on this frustration. The only way to really get rid of it is to start talking to girls! I know it's so cliche. Talk to guys too. Just be open to meeting new people and get used to talking to people and feeling comfortable in your own skin. You can and should still practice kino, good eye contact, good posture and good listening skills with everybody. Just keep talking to people. There will be bad experiences! I once had a girl lie and tell me she didn't speak english in front of a bunch of people. It was embarrassing but I laughed it off and met a beautiful girl later that night-- kiss close and number close. The bad parts are so temporary and you can always EJECT! Don't take it too seriously. Just keep pushing your boundaries. Get used to starting conversations with people you don't know.

RandianHero · 2014-03-20T00:30:16+00:00

Exposure therapy. Do it enough times and you'll realize that women aren't scary. The very worst thing they can do is not have sex with you, and you were there by default anyway. So really, what's there to be scared of?

2014-03-20T00:46:48+00:00

You don't get rid of your fear before you talk to girls. You get rid of your fear by talking to girls.

2014-03-20T01:50:12+00:00

Just do it. You got no reason to fear it. You're not gonna put your life at risk by doing it.

2014-03-20T01:54:08+00:00

Begin by reading sidebar content.

Just remember, "To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing." That's some Aristotle shit right there.

coconut_cracker · 2014-03-19T23:35:58+00:00

I had this problem and sometimes still do. I have no problem talking to girls if im not interested or there is nothing there for me. So what I do is just sort of pretend that im going to talk to her for one of my friends, and it is a little easier. Kind of weird I know

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-03-20T02:16:19+00:00

Why are you afraid to talk to girls? You have no reason to be afraid. Realize that your fear is illogical and irrational.

__Cyber_Dildonics__ · 2014-03-20T03:18:46+00:00

I have plenty of AA but I've also fought through it before and will again. It comes down to three main things, break it down, act in the face of fear, competence is confidence.

Break it down. Too much 'just do it pussy' is thrown around and this doesn't work over the long term, because it takes an amped state that is not sustainable. I've told guys I've hung out with to not worry about approaching, just to walk over to a girl and walk back. Why? Because it is part of the action, and actually makes you feel better. You get a piece of the approach instead of climbing the whole mountain. Here are some steps:

-Walk over, pause, walk away -Make eye contact with anyone you can -Make eye contact and smile with anyone you can -Make eye contact, smile, and say 'hey' or 'hi' to anyone you can

Now you are doing approaches, since the whole point is really to get someone's attention.

Act in the face of fear. We feel fear, or a nervous excitement and we perceive discomfort as bad and something we should run from. In our modern world there are plenty of things that induce this state that you should run towards and collide with rather than run from. Not feeling fear doesn't make you brave, acting in the face of fear makes you brave. The feeling will be there frequently. It will get better but won't go away all the time. You will get better at acting anyway though, here's why:
Competence is confidence and if you feel in control of the situation you won't be afraid of it. Is Lebron afraid of stepping on to a basketball court? He probably can't wait to destroy the other team. Would you be afraid of getting in an MMA ring with an 8 year old kid? Right now you and the girl are both 8 year old kids with regards to your ability to handle a conversation with a stranger. 100 interactions later you will be much more developed and will know how to deal with more situations with more refinement. Once you become good at simply dealing with new interactions, they won't scare you, they will excite you.

Start small, forget about the bootcamp style breakthroughs. It is really about pushing your comfort level and practicing being honest as if you are working a muscle. And to make a muscle stronger you have to really dig in, wear it out and let it heal.

SenorPuff · 2014-03-20T03:23:18+00:00

On the subject of fear vs reality, I just saw this TED talk today.

It also reminds me of the Will Smith movie After Earth.

Title	How do I get rid of the fear of talking to girls?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	March 19, 2014 11:32 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20uv2b/how_do_i_get_rid_of_the_fear_of_talking_to_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-rid-of-the-fear-of-talking-to-girls.1294790 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294790

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